Monthly Archives: November 2023

Blessed

Blessed

the hive is buzzing
wafting with delicious scents
honey and spices

days of preparing
to gather at the table
with dear family

laughter and music
turkey, stuffing, all the sides
candlelight dining

sun fades to twilight
and the pull of home is strong
quiet peace descends

sipping cabernet
cuddling by the fire with cats
knowing we are blessed

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
November 24, 2023

Happy Black Friday, all! No mall shopping for this chick today…I avoid going out shopping on this day LOL!! It’s kind of sad especially to see the demise of traditional malls, but the only shopping I did today was ONLINE. I just can’t tolerate the crowds and insanity anymore.  Plus you can save time and get the same deals online, so….. easy decision.

I wrote this in the quiet aftermath after hosting Thanksgiving Dinner for my family yesterday here in Virginia. There were only 10 of us, but I prepared two turkeys (40 lbs of turkey on sale for a total of $15 – SCORE!), mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, corn pudding, pumpkin pies, chocolate chip cookies and a homemade cheeseball. I had quite a few appetizers out, including the cheeseball with crackers, veggie tray, fruit, chips, salsa & queso dip. I’m never sure exactly what time the main dinner will be served. I aim for 3 pm, but there’s always last minute potato peeling & mashing, and of course the master Colleen gravy recipe that must be perfected before serving! I am grateful to my family for bringing some side dishes and helping with the peeling and preparation, and especially for assisting Dan and me in the cleanup!

It was a beautiful, crisp autumn day and I’m so happy my Mom, my sister Sarah and her family and my brother Doug and his girlfriend were able to join us! We had so much fun reliving memories, listening to music and just being together. We were missing my sister Barb and hubby Al, and brother Mark and wife Wendy. Everyone is so busy with life, and it’s very hard to get all of us together in one place these days. But I am truly blessed and feeling at peace today.

This afternoon’s goal was to take down all of my autumn decorations. Dan and I got it all done in less than two hours. We are scaling back on the Christmas decorating this year, because we are planning to travel to Florida to visit both of our kids for Christmas. We are looking forward to that, especially spending time with the grandkids and seeing them on Christmas morning! I can hardly wait to see their excited little faces as they open their gifts. There’s something so magical seeing Christmas through a child’s eyes, it makes me tear up thinking about it. I’ll miss having the house fully decked out, but it doesn’t make sense to put in all that effort since we won’t be here for about 11 days. And it’ll make my life a LOT easier in January, undecorating for Christmas is soooo depressing!

I hope you had a beautiful, peaceful Thanksgiving, and I’m wishing you a December full of joyous holidays, whatever you celebrate.

Xoxo,
Colleen ❤

Mood: Content
Inspiration: “Last Train Home” by Pat Metheny Group

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 21.15 – Blessed/WRITER’S CHOICE!!!
Hard Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – Write a haiku
Easy Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – Include a hive

Winter Backlash

Winter Backlash

What was I thinking
As my spirits were sinking?
Sunlight is shrinking…
Bitter winds bellow and thrash
Against the winter backlash.

Emotions collide;
I’m raining on the inside.
All hope seems denied…
Taking all the pain to heart;
I’m ready for a new start.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
November 18, 2023

Happy Saturday, family and friends! Just a quick double tanka this morning, off the top of my head. This was inspired by the winds whipping up this morning, along with the Amy Grant lyrics.

I’ll keep this short and sweet. I am feeling much better and slowly getting my energy back. I have been able to resume my daily workout sessions, working up to the point where I no longer feel winded. This is a huge win! I am hosting Thanksgiving dinner next week, so I’ve been busy getting the house in order and have my Christmas tree up with about ¾ of the lights up. I plan to get that finished this weekend. I finally started my Christmas shopping, about half online and half in the store. Yesterday I drove into Leesburg/Sterling and shopped at the Dulles Town Center and the Leesburg outlets, along with Hobby Lobby and Home Goods. All the stores already have their Black Friday deals underway, so no need to wait until next Friday!

I will be very busy next week, so I would like to take time now to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. Whether it is traditional, avant garde, vegan, dairy or gluten-free, I hope you enjoy the day as we give thanks for all our blessings. Enjoy, and have a safe, happy holiday!

Xoxo,
Colleen

Mood: Thoughtful
Inspiration: “Enigmatic Encounter” by ATB/Enigma

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 20.15 – What Was I Thinking?
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric from Amy Grant  (“I’m raining on the inside” & “Taking all the pain to heart”)
Easy Bonus: Use the term “gluten free”

The Art of Letting Go

The Art of Letting Go

pain
unwinds
hold me tight
fingers entwined
throughout the long night
as fear churns through my mind
awaken me from bad dreams
quiet my screams as darkness falls
grotesque shadows dance upon my walls
the light at the end of the tunnel glows
the point of no return, nobody knows
though grains of sand are trickling fast
our opportunities have passed
albeit through storms and strife
fused together, one life
my anchor, my rock
love pure and true
I am lost
without
you

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
November 9, 2023

Mood: Emotional
Inspiration: “Politik” by Coldplay

Dear Family and Friends,

There is just so much heartbreak in the world these days, so much pain. Being an empath, it seeps underneath my skin and eats away at my soul some days. It is hard to just shake off, sometimes I listen to music to try and purge it out of my being. But pieces of the sadness remain and fester.

When I am sick, these feelings intensify and emotion wells up inside me until I can release it in some way – talking, writing, crying…. I wrote snippets of this on the plane coming home from Florida, still struggling physically from the aftermath of COVID, exhausted and missing my love so badly. Feeling like I had no control in my life, feeling hopeless, having trouble catching my breath…..

Would I ever feel better again after COVID, how long would it take to get my health back this time around? The first time took months. So many negative thoughts drowning out the positivity and gratitude I have for my wonderful life! Then I get angry and frustrated at myself for feeling this way. It’s a vicious circle. Things could be worse, how lucky I am to be as healthy as I have been thus far in life. But I’m an impatient woman who doesn’t like to be held back by anything, especially a damned manufactured virus!

No, patience has never been one of my virtues. My poker face is transparent, and I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I am that person who has it written all over her face, with eye rolls and sighs. Anxiety has ruled my seas, and at times whipped into a frenzy and debilitating. Some days it feels like I’m drowning. It’s hard to breathe at times, it makes me fearful, bad dreams, worrying about the future, what if I get sick, what if he gets sick, we’re getting older, how much time do we have left? Will my Mom be okay, my husband, my kids, my grandkids? It all spins about in my head, psychedelic COVID dreams taunt me, and I wake in a cold sweat. Then I open my eyes and breathe. I am alive. I am human. I will be okay. Life will go on. Things will get better. One day at a time.

So that’s what this poem is about – being in the grips of anxiety and dealing with one’s fear about the future. Hang tight, and keep on going, my friends and family. I love you!
xoxo, Colleen

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 19.15 – Opportunity
Hard Bonus: Include a song title by Andrew Lloyd Weber (“The Light At the End of the Tunnel”; “Point of No Return”)
Easy Bonus: Use the word “albeit”

Beyond the Graveyard

Beyond the Graveyard

Behold the amber moon, shining so bright,
hanging high above in October skies.
Rays cast down to reveal a frightening sight…
shadows dancing as evil spirits rise.

Beyond the graveyard, a thick fog rolls in,
choking your breath, rendering your eyes blind.
Ancestral wisdom is disguised as sin…
in the tormented confines of your mind.

Clearer, louder, the voices chant and scream,
as the blood runs colder within your veins.
Like a nightmare within this circus dream…
their rotting hands reach out, pure terror reigns.

They circle round, ever closer to clasp….
but amber moon has you within her grasp.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
November 3, 2023

Hello all. This Halloween-inspired sonnet came to me late in the week. I wanted to make it a romantic write, but that certainly didn’t work out. (That’s okay, I have another poem started that is going in that direction.) I started both poems on the plane ride home last night from Florida.

This turned out to be just a spooky sonnet with a Halloween flavor, where I made the amber moon the hero (or should I say, heroine). Or maybe it was inspired by some rather wild psychedelic dreams I was having during COVID while taking the anit-viral medicine. I don’t know what it was, as I’m not usually into ghouls, ghosts and macabre scenes. Though I do admit that I used to love the old school 70s/80s horror movie series like Halloween, The Omen, Friday the Thirteenth, etc. When we were younger, we would sneak beers into the midnight showings of some of these classics, and we’d scream to distract the ushers when the bottles would roll down the aisle LOL! Funny random memories! That was, of course, when the Maryland drinking age was 18 for beer and wine – glory days, haha!!

I had a wonderful trip to visit the grandkids, enjoyed EVERY moment and memory made with them. But… it was so difficult saying goodbye yesterday, especially when Posie hugged tight to me and said, “Nanny, please don’t go!!!”  I was a bawling mess after Katie dropped me off at the airport. Had just enough time to cry in the bathroom and blow my running nose before boarding my flight. I was quite exhausted, but not enough to actually sleep on the plane. It felt good to be home with Dan again, and of course the kitties. But being so far away from family is just HARD. I love those little ones so much my heart could explode!

Health update – I’m still feeling quite under the weather, I think after the COVID it turned to sinus infection and the fatigue is unreal. Fortunately Heather gave me a round of antiobiotics in case this happened. Could also be long COVID after-effects that I experienced last time. I have no appetite or energy, but this time I have additionally lost my wine palate. Red wine tastes like pure vinegar to me currently – yuck and wahhhh!! I think I’ll take a nice hot shower and call it a night. But woo hoo, we get an extra hour to sleep – don’t forget to set your clocks BACK tonight, friends and family! Love you all!

Xoxo,
Colleen

Mood: Spooky
Inspiration: “Halloween Theme” by John Carpenter (the ultimate scary soundtrack!)

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 18.15 – Amber Moon
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a frightening situation
Easy Bonus: Include the phrase “ancestral wisdom”