Happy Early Mother’s Day! I hope each of you gets a chance to celebrate your Mom, I am very blessed to have my Mom still with us. We didn’t make any formal plans for a Mother’s Day celebration, but my sister and I decided last minute to coordinate times of our visit to her house tomorrow. We will bring salad, cupcakes and order pizza for linner (late lunch/early dinner).
Since it was Writer’s Choice Week, I just did this off the top of my head this morning. The phrase “vernal wellsprings of my heart” just popped into my head a few weeks ago and fortunately, I actually wrote it down. (Need to do that more often, but often get distracted and forget!) I stumbled on the line this morning and decided to build a Kyrielle Sonnet around that (with a slight tweak to the beginning word of the refraining line, haha!). This sonnet just sort of reflects the rainy and dreary weather of late, and also speaks to the effect PTSD that can happen in life. I think many of us have endured some type of trauma(s) at some point in our lives. Those who know me well, know I’ve been through some traumas in my life that I thought I’d never overcome, but struggled through. Even though one survives it, sometimes certain memories are randomly triggered. It creeps back in and can haunt you. Add that on top of anxiety, and voila! You have a recipe for panic attacks. Writing, music and family/friends’ support has been a godsend in helping me heal and thrive. So if you are part of my inner circle who knows what I’m talking about … know that I am blessed, forever grateful you’re in my life, and that I love you so much!
Have a great weekend, and Happy Mother’s Day to all!
Xoxo, Colleen
Mood: Anxious Inspiration: “Sotto Falso Nome” by Ludovico Einaudi
Ecrits Blogophilia Week 45.15 – WRITER’S CHOICE – Shades of Blue and Black Hard Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – Incorporate moonlit skies Easy Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – Use the word “vernal”
Good Saturday Morning! The Canned Heat song titles led me in this direction this morning, which ended up being a wonderful thing. They inspired this Kyrielle Sonnet which just flowed out of my head. I definitely like when that happens!
Do you believe in angels and in the power of prayer? I sure do! I have my own personal guardian angels that have helped me through countless difficult times in life. Just when I I thought I did not have the strength to continue, something (or someone) gently nudged me forward. I am eternally grateful for those beautiful angels in my life, and strangely, even for the bends and twists my path has taken. It has not been easy at times, but it has made me stronger. Going through those trials and tribulations truly shaped who I am today.
Last week, we had a nice little Easter dinner at our home, hosting Mom, Sarah and her family. It is always so wonderful getting together with family, though I miss our kids and grandkids tremendously. However, in just eleven days, Katie’s crew will be coming up for a visit! She and Brenton are going to a friend’s wedding in Richmond, so we get to have the nuggets all to ourselves for the entire weekend. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate so we can drive to see family in Maryland, take them to some playgrounds or just have fun in our backyard. I can’t wait!
The takeaway this week is to keep looking for your rainbow, even in the darkest days. Just ask your guardian angel for help, she/he will happily help you get there! Have a great weekend, everyone! ❤
Xoxo, Colleen
Mood: Hopeful Inspiration: “Push the Sky Away” by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
Ecrits Blogophilia Week 40.15 – Resurrection Hard Bonus: Include a song title by Canned Heat (Dark Clouds; Looking for My Rainbow) Easy Bonus: Incorporate an angel
Happy Saturday, friends and family! This is a little dark haiku series inspired by some pieces of sad news I got this week. Don’t worry – I’m am doing fine.
First, I found out that a coworker lost her husband suddenly last weekend. We don’t know the details, but he was apparently not sick and just passed quickly. My heart aches for her in this loss – there are no words. The other day I emailed a client that I do quarterly work for. She and her husband had owned a long-time family store in West Virginia, and they recently closed to finally enjoy their retirement. She told me she had bad news, her husband died two weeks ago while attending their last work convention. When I relayed this information to the partner, he called me and told me that there had been some sort of altercation while at the convention. Apparently another man pushed him to the ground, he hit his head and died! This completely struck me to the core and actually made me cry. I’ve never met the clients face to face, but hearing of his tragic death just hit me hard. To think you work so hard all your life, and then your life is cut short just two months into your retirement!
These things were on my mind, as I have tried to imagine how one carries on after losing a husband or partner. How do you find the strength to begin again? It is such a devastating loss, and it’s really been hitting close to home lately. As you get older, it seems there is more death around you. It’s surreal and frightening at times, but I try to break out of those negative, morbid thoughts. Writing is one of my tools to release the overwhelming thoughts and anxieties in life.
Life is so fleeting and precious. I am so grateful for the wonderful husband and family that I have. My plan is to find joy in the small daily things and enjoy every single moment I have with them. Wishing you all a Happy Easter!
Xoxo, Colleen
Mood: Reflective Inspiration: “Leaving Paris” by Craig Armstrong
Ecrits Blogophilia Week 39.15 – Decisions, Decisions! Hard Bonus: Include a lyric from Newfound Glory (“Shadow”; “words of you went through my chest”; “solid ground”) Easy Bonus: Use the word “bumfuzzle”
I see it written in the stars, in glow of Virgo from afar, a message from moon of mercy… a promise for eternity.
Fear and discontent taint the night; the time is now to make things right. Show us the path to destiny… a promise for eternity.
Time and seasons will pass you by, as hopes and dreams melt in the sky. Goddess of justice, hear my plea… a promise for eternity.
I see it written in the stars, a promise for eternity.
Colleen Keller Breuning March 9, 2024
Good morning, Happy Saturday. This Kyrielle sonnet reflects the mood of the week. It was steered by the challenge prompts, combining Virgo, goddess of justice, and Yes lyrics. Side note: Yes is one of my all-time favorite 70’s progressive genre band I’ve been following since I was 13 years old!
*RANT INCOMING* I have a lot going on in my life, a lot on my mind lately. I tend to worry excessively and obsess over things not in my control, which has led to major anxiety in my life. It is extremely hard to find peace in the midst of storms, and that is kind of where I am at writing this. Writing helps purge my soul of the anxiety that builds up inside.
Today I worry about the state of our country and our planet. I worry about what our future holds, not just personally but mankind in general. Things are so terrible right now: inflation, cost of living, crime, border invasion, war, fentanyl deaths, corruption, divisiveness… There is an endless list of problems that grows by the day. Everything seems to be spiraling out of control. I don’t know how young families are making it in this day and age. The cost of living is at an all-time high, and wages aren’t keeping pace. People can’t get ahead, and as a result, credit card debt is at an all-time high. It is hard to fathom how we can sustain this. I had hoped I would be able to retire at age 64 or 65, but like many people my age, that looks extremely unlikely in the near future. I am blessed to have a wonderful job, so I’ll hang on for a few more years.
Here is my plea to Virgo and all in the universe: Open your eyes and see for yourself what is really happening in the state of our world. Things are getting progressively worse by the day. Something must change or we will not survive! Okay, I feel a little better now. *RANT OVER*
My wish for you on this rainy Saturday is peace and a better tomorrow. I love you all!
Xoxo, Colleen
Mood: Blue Inspiration: “Natural Blues” by Moby
Ecrits Blogophilia Week 36.15 – The Promise of Stars Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric by the band Yes (“Melt in the sky” and “seasons will pass you by”) Easy Bonus: Mention a constellation (Virgo)
Happy Saturday! I hope you’re having a great weekend. For some reason this week was a hard set of prompts for me. (Just couldn’t insert a stop sign into this poem, lol). Or maybe I was just in a mood listening to Radiohead and needed to spill a little dark ink. Or maybe it is just the taxing effect of tax season that drove me to write this, haha… In a nutshell, we all have fears, traumas, illness, stress, things from the past that haunt or trigger us. This is about putting those fears behind you and moving on, knowing that change is inevitable – like it or not. Whew, I feel better now!
We have noticed a few daffodils and jonquils that are actually starting to bloom, quite early this year! It has seemed like a colder winter, but we’ve had some 60 degree days in between that probably brought them to life. One good thing about this winter was the snowfalls have helped restore our neighborhood lake, which was drying up from last year’s severe drought. I am seeing more birds in the yard, the red wing blackbird and robins have returned, and the bluebirds are flirting and flitting around. In just one week, we’ll be setting the clocks forward and seeing more daylight as spring approaches!
Whatever season it is, I try to appreciate the beauty that can be found in nature. Instead of just hating and ranting about winter, why not try to look for the positive? You might embrace the comforts of a warm fire, gaze upon your cat napping, look for the artistry in the field of snow, prepare a hearty homemade soup, take solace in the twinkling stars in the cold night sky. That’s the way I see it…..but then again, I have always been that poet with rose colored glasses and big dreams. Some things never change! Have a lovely weekend.
Xoxo, Colleen
Mood: Anxious Inspiration: “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” by Radiohead
Ecrits Blogophilia Week 35.15 – Taming the Fear Hard Bonus: Incorporate a homophone (pane/pain) Easy Bonus: Include a stop sign
I hear the whistle of a distant train, an echo at the end of a long day. A light snow falls against the windowpane, from dark mottled skies of purple and gray.
Upon the mantel sits a vintage vase, wilted flowers filled with sorrow and rue. My eyes blur, drawn into the torrid blaze, my mind flooding with memories of you.
Just this once I let myself fall apart, bracing against the treacherous weather. Emotions unravel my battered heart, Longing for just one more day together.
Your presence fills my soul with warmth and light, and the pain fades into the depths of night.
Happy Saturday! I hope you are having a nice weekend. We have no plans this weekend, except for chores and errands. And that’s just fine with me!
We got together with my family last Sunday to celebrate my nephew Gabe’s 14th birthday! I can’t believe how time flies. Seeing family is always a fun time, but afterwards my thoughts always turn to Dad. How I wish that he was still here, able to see his growing family and share in all the love. He has been gone for exactly 21 years now, and he is missed by all those who loved him.
I guess that is what this sonnet is about, missing a lost loved one, dealing with the pain and moving forward without them. It is tough at times. It’s not as difficult as in the early years, but there are still moments it hits me out of the blue. Something sparks a memory, or I see a picture…. I just let myself feel the emotions, fall apart, cry, pray, and then breathe deep. I hope that when you experience such a loss, that you can do the same. Find a way to release that emotion, don’t let it build up. Express yourself, hug someone, cry, journal, listen to music, call a friend or family member, get productive, exercise, clean, cook, whatever it takes to heal.
That’s all for now. Have a lovely weekend!
xoxo Colleen
Mood: Pensive Inspiration: “Experience” by my fav Ludovico Einaudi
Ecrits Blogophilia Week 34.15 – Just This Once Hard Bonus: Include a vintage vase and dried flowers Easy Bonus: Incorporate an echo
Hello everyone – hope you are having a great week! This was Writer’s Choice Week in Blogophilia, so I could write as my heart desired.
Next week marks the 21st Anniversary of my father’s passing; he died of lung cancer on February 17, 2003. This poem is dedicated to him. The pain of losing him will never, ever go away. Dad was a “gentle giant” and my protector. He was the strong and silent one who was always looking out for me during my life, even when I didn’t want him to. Everyone loved and gravitated to him, especially babies and children. He was an inspiration for all his five children, and countless grandchildren. I miss his comforting presence, his voice, his hugs, his sense of humor, his hearty laugh, his love for life. I even miss his funny, prolific sneezes (he could sneeze like 15 times in a row)! Dad was a great cook, a bird nerd and a music lover, which I believe all of us kids inherited from him. For some reason, the past few weeks I have found myself thinking of him at the end of the day and releasing a few tears. He died far too young at the age of 68, and we all wish we had more time with him.
That said, I am instead trying to focus on the beautiful memories and the blessings that I have received from Dad throughout my life, which are plentiful. Some of the best memories I have are just of BEING with him…. going to work at the rail yards, playing ball in the backyard, watching the fireworks from our playroom window, summer nights sitting on the front porch, listening to music, watching hockey, driving trips, rocking on hotel porch chairs simply watching and listening to the ocean… He may not have been perfect, as we are all flawed in some way, but he was the perfect Dad for me. I miss you and love you, Daddy!
May you all have a Happy Valentine’s Day – remember to cherish those you love, and always take the opportunity to show them and tell them how much you love them!!! ❤
xoxo, Colleen
Mood: Sad Inspiration: “Dear Father” by Neil Diamond – Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Dad’s favorite
Ecrits Blogophilia Week 32.15 – WRITER’S CHOICE – Washed Out Hard Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – Include your favorite flower (jasmine) Easy Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – Incorporate floating clouds
Happy Saturday, everyone! Well, I made it through the January 31 deadline, woo hoo! Plenty of long days, weekend work, overtime and stress are behind me. Tax season has hardly begun, but the worst is over for all of the paraprofessionals.
January was a long blur of a month. We didn’t get home from our Christmas in Florida until December 30, and I jumped immediately into working every day in January. Therefore, I left my Christmas decorations up the entire month for the first time in my life. It has been literally driving me crazy, but I’ve had to just put on blinders and not let it stress me out. Well, this is the weekend that I will finally “undecorate.” And what a shame, it is so beautiful outside but I’m stuck inside by choice this weekend to finally get the house back to normal. Wish me luck lol!
This poem is a Kyrielle sonnet with a twist. Typically the last line is repeated in all stanzas, except I broke the rules and changed the first word of the final stanza line. Haha, rebel without a cause, am I! It was inspired by Laura Branigan lyrics “deep in the dark.” We all experience pain or trauma of some degree in our lives, and the healing process is different for everyone. It can feel as though you are falling into an abyss, and you must find a way to pull yourself out of that dark hole. And only YOU can do it – you must change yourself, change your circumstances, change your way of thinking, or you must embrace a new way of living or coping. Healing comes from deep within, sometimes from secret places of the soul.
That’s all for this week. Have a beautiful weekend and stay warm!
Xoxo, Colleen
Mood: Resilient Inspiration: “On the Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter
Ecrits Blogophilia Week 31.15 – The Lost City Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric by Laura Branigan (“deep in the dark” and “I went down without a trace”) Easy Bonus: Include a secret place (my soul)
Hello, family and friends! If you know me, you already know this. This is quite obviously dedicated to my soulmate Tommy Breuning, the best cat ever…. He was my faithful feline companion, my best friend, my soulmate. He crossed the rainbow bridge on September 12, 2020 as I held him in my arms. I still think of him every single day, and I will never, ever forget him.
Did you ever have fleeting moments that just hit you out of the blue and cause a rush of sadness? One night this week after a long day at work, I was getting my evening shower and I turned on a relaxing classical music playlist on my iPad, my usual routine. Tommy’s picture is on my screensaver, and it brings a smile every time. But that night it flashed up and caused an avalanche of memories. It was like a sucker punch to the gut, and I just wept and wept for this beautiful cat who was quite literally my sentinel and now my guardian angel.
I’ll never forget the first time I spotted him in the Broward County Humane shelter, trying to cover up his poop with a shred of newspaper. This was in September 2005, barely a month after Hurricane Katrina hit and brought a flood of homeless pets into the area shelters. We’d looked at several of the cats, but some were skittish, and we just didn’t connect. That’s when I spotted “Titus” at the very back of the cat shelter area, and we asked to see him.
When they brought him into the little meeting room, he was purring nonstop, nestling on our necks. We instantly fell in love with him. There was no question, we decided to put in a bid for him. The shelter lobby area was overflowing, so we took a number and waited for what seemed like hours. Many times families left in tears when they tried to adopt a dog or cat, then discovered that the pet had just been claimed moments before… The elderly man waiting next to us discovered his pet was claimed before his number was called. He turned to me and pressed his ticket into my hand, and whispered “Here, you take my number. I hope you get your pet.” It felt strange and a bit like cheating, but seeing the look in Katie’s eyes, I accepted it with thanks. My heart was pounding when our number was called. Fortunately, Titus was still available! He was OURS! When we brought him home the next day, we decided to name him Tommy, after my departed father. He had the same beautiful eyes as Dad.
I’ve shared Tommy with the world since I joined Myspace and Facebook back in 2007. He occasionally took control of my computer and wrote “A Tommy Blog” that told of the Tommy and Jordan cat shenanigans, featured snippets of everyday life and funny pictures. I really do believe that those were my most popular blogs! I could really feel the love for Tommy over the internet. He was so popular that he had his own Facebook profile (still does). He was a beautiful, loving cat who purred loudly and spoke to me literally nonstop! We really did have a love language, little conversations with his soulful meows. He always waited for me to come home after work, and was my guardian who sat outside my shower every morning and evening. He was one smart cookie, quite mischievous, with a huge purr-sonality and a loving heart. He was with me during some difficult times, sensing if I was sad and always watching over me. I believe he still is…. right by my Dad’s side, in fact!
My sweet Princess Posie Mae turns FOUR years old tomorrow, and I’m sad that I can’t be there for her princess party today. I will FaceTime her afterwards and will be sending her a birthday gift a little late this year. I can’t believe how time is flying, and my darling grandbabies aren’t babies anymore. Naturally, I wish I could see them more often, but I have had to learn to cope with the sadness that comes with that. This year I am trying to seek joy in any way that I can, even in the little things. And to be kind, to others and to myself. I try to have a word for the year to abide by, sort of as a daily mantra to focus on. Last year was “calm,” and because I could not make a decision– I will have two words to focus on this year – JOY and KIND. I hope you all have a lovely weekend, full of joy and kindness!
Xoxo Colleen
Mood: Sad but seeking joy Inspiration: “Sail to the Moon” by Radiohead (one of my favorites)
Ecrits Blogophilia Week 28.15 – One Smart Cookie Hard Bonus: Include a quote, line or lyric from one of the muppets (“Life is like a movie.” – Kermit) Easy Bonus: Mention the word “raggamuffin”
Hello, friends and family. Fair warning – I’ve gone dark with my writing today! I really don’t know how this poem came about, except maybe that Maximilien Robespierre quote kind of hit me like a rock. I got this terrible feeling stuck in my chest, because the world is so damn complicated and heartbreaking. Seeing the homeless encampments in most of our cities just makes me so frustrated and angry, and it seems things are getting worse by the day. There are so many atrocities in our cities, our country, and the world. Doesn’t it seem like we are just on the brink of something terrible? I think many of us try to have faith and hope, but the way this world is going now…. we need positive changes to happen NOW! Things certainly can’t keep going the way they are.
It is so sad that many of our homeless are down and out individuals, veterans, or drug addicts, many of them mentally ill, as well. I can barely stand to watch the videos or witness the way they live when we’re visiting DC. It is horribly gut-wrenching, and they all have a story. We had a homeless elderly woman in our work parking lot this past summer, she was just sitting in the shade for the entire day, with a jug of water in the blazing heat. I felt so bad for her that one day after work, I packed up a bag full of sparkling waters, snacks and apples I had stashed and gave it to her. She could barely speak, for the heat, but she looked at me muttered thank you. There was just a glazed look in her eyes, one of defeat and desperation that I couldn’t imagine what she was enduring. The next day, the ambulance wheeled her away with heat stroke! I never knew her name, and never saw her again, but I still think of her from time to time.
One thing is for sure – we are fortunate to have what we have, and we don’t always appreciate the good in our lives. And yes, then we get caught up in the busyness and clatter of our own lives…. secure in our ivory castles. Sorry this is not a “happy happy, joy joy” kind of write today. I’ll save that for next time. Until then, may you breathe deep and appreciate the blessings you have in your life! ❤ ❤
Xoxo Colleen
Mood: Down Inspiration: “To Build A Home” by Patrick Watson/The Cinematic Orchestra
Ecrits Blogophilia Week 24.15 – Mad for Plaid Hard Bonus: Incorporate a Maximilien Robespierre quote (“Pity is treason”) Easy Bonus: Include a castle
Colleen Keller Breuning 