sorrow – Colleen Keller Breuning

Lucky Charms

Lucky Charms

Gold
sunlight
on waters
aquamarine
embryonic warmth
seafoam between my toes
I reach my arms to the sea
my thoughts ramble and turn to you
summer breezes and rocking chairs
crashing ocean waves, music to our ears
beachcombing, scooping fingers snag treasures
scallops, lightning whelk and fighting conch
mollusks covered in silken moss
seashells bring sweet memories
grateful for your presence
counting my blessings
as I hold close
my precious
lucky
charms

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
March 17, 2023

Sláinte!!! I hope everyone had a Happy St. Patrick’s Day yesterday! Dan and I both had to work all day, but he stopped by Wegmans and got me some salmon to make Salmon Teriyaki, baked sweet potatoes and roasted asparagus for dinner. Yum, that has become our favorite meal! So that was our St. Patrick’s Day celebration.

I wrote this double etheree poem yesterday, thinking of what my lucky charms are and how to integrate the challenge prompts this week. Well, my family and cats are my lucky charms, of course! Lucky charms are like treasures, and for some reason my thoughts turned to how I would beachcomb and search for shells at Captiva Island. The place is a mecca for shells, the entire beaches are covered in them early mornings after the tide has come in. When we lived in Florida, we went at least once a year for a family vacation and have wonderful memories from those trips. I collected bucketloads of beautiful shells over the years, and I remember giving some to my Dad years before he got sick with cancer and passed away. He kept some of these shells in his cigar box of treasures, along with various photos I’d taken of the Captiva sunsets, Europe and other trips. I had always hoped to take him to Captiva someday. But it was not to be.

When Dad passed away, I put one of the fighting conch shells that I’d collected on his gravestone. Everytime I would visit his gravesite, the shell was still there, surviving all the snow, summer weather and gusty winds. It was originally a smooth and shiny, and it had a bright orange pink color. It faded to white from the sun’s bleaching over 19 years. One time last year when my Mom visited him, she noticed it was gone – either blown away, picked up by an animal or disposed of by the groundskeeper. It brought me comfort to see it there for many years, so I really need to go back and take him another one of these shell treasures.

Though Dad never got to see the beauty of Captiva in his years on this planet, he sees it all now. The beach reminds me of Dad… we spent wonderful Keller family vacations at Chincoteague when I was younger. In 1987, we took Vince to Ocean City when he was just a toddler. We stayed at the old Lankford Hotel, and I will never forget summer nights on the porch. He would smoke cigarettes, rocking in the big rocking chairs, and we just sat together silently, listening to the crashing surf. It was such a wonderful memory that stays with me always! I wrote a poem about it called “The Lankford” back in 2005 or 2006. I also wrote of the Captiva seashells I gave to him in the poem “Fighting Conch” in late 2000’s. Both of them are featured in my book “Shadows of My Father.”

And so for you, Dad, here is one of my favorite Irish sayings:

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields,
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Xoxo
Colleen

Mood: Pensive
Inspiration: “Be” by Neil Diamond – one of my Dad’s favorites

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 37.14 Topic: Lucky Charms
Hard Bonus: Mention an Irish saying in your blog (Sláinte!! and The Irish Blessing)
Easy Bonus: Include 3 different shades of green (aquamarine, seafoam, moss)

The Whispering Wind

The Whispering Wind

When night falls with pain and sorrow
and I’m feeling cold and hollow,
in the midst of anxiety,
the whispering wind comforts me.

Hear the caress of windchime rings
as the lonely mockingbird sings.
While pondering my destiny,
the whispering wind comforts me.

Now as my restless spirit roams,
guide me to my heavenly home,
and when the rain falls to the sea,
the whispering wind comforts me.

When night falls with pain and sorrow,
the whispering wind comforts me.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
March 3, 2023

Happy Friday! I quickly penned this sonnet in between work projects this evening. It’s feeling a little bit like winter this evening, dark and the wind a bit gusty. The wind seems to speak to me here at our home in Virginia. We get a very strong western wind that comes straight down the road and hits the front of our home, as we are at the bottom of the cul-de-sac. Sometimes it whispers, but other times it howls like a banshee! I almost think the wind is one of my muses. I mean, after all, I am a Gemini an air sign. Maybe that’s why the wind evokes my senses. I have sensitive but strong lungs, haha.

I can’t believe it’s already March. The winter has flown by. Are you ready for spring? I certainly am – and my daffodils are already starting to bloom. I hate to complain about the weather too much, but it sure has been finicky lately. One day it’s 30 degrees, next day it’s 70! The highly variable temperatures are confusing the spring bulbs, and also wreaking havoc on people’s health. I think it’s safe to say most of us are ready to embrace some warmer weather and enjoy the sun a bit. And on the bright side – daylights savings time starts next weekend, so it will be lighter later in the day. Yahoo! I can’t wait for that, as it gets old driving home from work in the dark. It can be a bit nerve wracking, and I’m always paranoid I’m going to hit a deer or something.

Nothing else new here. Dan and I are pretty busy with tax season, so we haven’t been doing much but working. One of these days we’ll get out for a winery visit, but not this weekend. Lately we’re lucky to go to the grocery store together, lol… We need to plan our next vacation, as this is the first time ever we don’t have specific plans in the books. A tropical getaway sure would be nice! Hmmm…. time to start daydreaming. But more likely, it will be a trip to Florida to visit the grandkids, whom I miss dearly. Have a great weekend, everyone.

xoxo
Colleen

Mood: Windy
Inspiration: “Whispering Wind” by Moby

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 35.14 Topic: Whispering Wind
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric from the band New Order (“when the rain falls to the sea”)
Easy Bonus: Include a gymnastics event (rings)

Whistle of the Train

Whistle of the Train

I can hear your voice calling me,
a gentle breeze across the sea,
in the mourning dove’s sad refrain,
with every whistle of the train.

As tracks of hot tears stain my face,
my heart longs for your warm embrace,
a balm that soothes this endless pain
with every whistle of the train.

The candlewick is burning low,
twenty years gone, I miss you so.
My love for you will never wane
with every whistle of the train.

I can hear your voice calling me
with every whistle of the train.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
February 25, 2023

To Dad… I know you are watching over me. I miss you and love you so much!

Mood: Missing You
Inspiration: “Dear Father” by Neil Diamond

Happy Saturday, everyone! I started this poem on the 20^th anniversary of my father’s death, which was February 17, 2023. But for some reason, I needed some time and space to finish it, so I put it aside. I have been so busy at work, and I was aware this day was coming soon. But when I looked at the calendar that morning it hit me like an anvil to my heart. I started to weep, tears of sorrow falling for the man who gave me life. I couldn’t seem to shake it, so I let the emotions out.

Dad was our rock, a gentle giant, a silent man. However, when he had something to say – you listened! I feel like he was my protector, as most of siblings undoubtedly feel, too. He realized that I was young, stupid and was going to learn things by my mistakes in life. Yet he stood by me and loved me throughout these challenges. Both he and Mom have been there for me through many difficult times, my darkest days. I am ever grateful to both of them for giving me the best possible childhood, even though we struggled financially at times. I have the happiest memories to carry me through life.

Trains have a significant meaning in my life since my Dad worked at the railroad yards. Growing up, he would take me to some of these locations, let me explore the parked caboose and roam around the yards. I would clean up the office space, even cooked a baked bean dinner on a small gas heater one time at Cumbo, a remote rail yard in West Virginia! That probably would be considered taboo in this day and age, but I loved it. Every time I hear a train whistle, I think of him. I don’t hear them often where I live now or when we lived in Florida. But at my Winchester office, I hear the nearby train whistle several times each day, and it is such a comfort to me. I feel as if it’s my Dad telling me he is just fine.

Naturally, we all wish we could have had more time with him. He died way too young, only 68 years old. It was small cell lung cancer, as he was a life-long smoker. It was absolutely heart-wrenching to see how that disease consumed him. It really hit me thinking how Dan and I are inching ever closer to that age, and facing our own mortality is frightening. I guess we need to try to make the most of every day we have on this Earth! I think that is a message we should all take to heart.

The video I am posting from Neil Diamond is a song Dad loved and played often. It has a special place in my heart and evokes memories each time I hear it. Have a good weekend!

XOXO Colleen

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 34.14 Topic: Freedom of Choice
Hard Bonus: Write a Kyrielle Sonnet (my writer’s choice)
Easy Bonus: Include a train whistle (my writer’s choice)

Felinity

Felinity

I believe in love at first sight,
My furry little feline sprite.
In your shelter cage, full of glee…
My heart you stole eternally.

Mood swings from funny to fickle:
Playful, puckish, in a pickle.
Blind luck? I call it destiny…
My heart you stole eternally.

I held you close that fateful day
And helped your spirit sail away.
Chase that rainbow, finally free…
My heart you stole eternally.

I believe in love at first sight…
My heart you stole eternally.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
February 11, 2023

This was written for Tommy Breuning, my furry soulmate who died from lymphoma on September 12, 2020. He was 15 years old. He was my animal spirit, my furry soulmate, and he completely stole my heart from that very first day. Here is the story of how we met in 2005.

It was September 11, 2005. We were on a mission to rescue a cat. There had been a huge influx of stranded kittens into Florida from Louisiana, in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Kate and I went down to the Broward Humane Society, and it was jam packed with folks wanting to adopt the plethora of dogs and cats in need of a home. The local Channel 10 station was even there, covering the news. We had looked at some of the Louisiana rescue kittens, and even stood in a long line to get a chance to meet a few. We held Lucky and another white cat from New Orleans that were from this import, but they were skittish and we really didn’t seem to bond. I knew that we both had to feel something in our hearts, that would be the sign that kitten was the one for us. I was trying to be patient and determined to get the right match.

We went back into the large cat area of the shelter to check out the other kittens waiting for adoption. There at the very back, I spotted him. A little tiger tabby, desperately trying to cover up his poop with a shred of newspaper! He was so tiny and so adorable, and we watched him playing with his little brother behind the glass. His name was “Titus” from the Rome mini-series. It was most definitely love at first sight! We requested a meet and greet. There the little shelter room, he came to us with hesitation and snuggled up to our necks, purring loudly. He had a very loud kitten voice, and we knew immediately we HAD to adopt him!

It was an easy decision, but now the problem was…. would we get to him in time? Once we filled out the application and put in a bid for “Titus,” we were given a number to officially adopt the kitten. But we quickly discovered there were 90 people ahead of us in that packed waiting room!

Frequently, the shelter workers would call out a number and that person would be so disappointed to learn that the pet they hoped to adopt had already been adopted, sometimes minutes before. Many left disappointed, some children in tears. Katie and I were becoming more anxious as we waited. Would we get to Titus in time?

We chatted with an older couple seated next to us who were much further ahead of us in line. They were hoping to adopt a certain dog. Another family was called up, and their dog was already adopted – the same dog the couple next to us were hoping to adopt. The husband turned to me, stealthily slipping me their ticket and whispered, “Here, take our ticket. Good luck getting your kitten.”

I felt like an outlaw, a cheat, at accepting that ticket and “jumping the line.” But at the same time, I could see the hope and anticipation in Katie’s eyes. The mere thought of not bringing this little boy home was more than I could bear. I knew he was my soulmate, and I just had to have him!

About 10 minutes later, our new ticket number was called out. Katie and I approached the desk, hearts pounding. Our application had been approved…. and Titus was still available. He was ours! Tears misted our eyes as I completed the paperwork and paid the $75 fee. They said they were having a “2 for one” special, I could take another kitten home for the same price. I was very tempted to adopt his brother as well, but I did not want to push my luck and take on too much at once! We could go back and pick him up after his neuter procedure was complete. I always say that was the best $75 I ever spent.

On the drive home, we decided to change his name to Tommy, after my beloved father who had passed away two years prior. Tommy Titan. A perfect name for him! There was an immediate bond after bringing him home. I have so many funny stories and beautiful memories which I will continue to share on this blog. Tommy Breuning became a bit of a social media celebrity. He had his own Facebook page, wrote the infamous “A Tommy Blog” and sparred with his sister Jordan frequently. The Blogophilia writing group seemed to really enjoy when Tommy took over my weekly blog! I miss those Tommy blogs, and I have saved every one of them. Maybe some day I will compile a book of them. There are over 40 of them! Below is a video we created for one of our Blogophiia posts.

There ought to be a law against stealing hearts. Tommy stole mine from the very first day, but I love him eternally for that. Rest in Peace, my sweet Tommy. There will never, ever be another cat quite like you!

xoxo
Colleen

Mood: Thoughtful
“The Stowaway ~ A Cat’s Tail” by Colleen Breuning

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 32.14 Topic: There Ought to be a Law
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a quote or line of Sean Connery
Easy Bonus: Use the phrase “in a pickle”

Tide

Tide

I pray like falling rain and light
Hiding within shadows of night
Drowning in the shallows of pride
For I don’t want to fight this tide.

My veins pulse with a quiet dread
Clouds in my coffee and in my head
Unleashing all the tears I cried
For I don’t want to fight this tide.

High above, the sky is broken
So many words left unspoken
Release my fears, arms open wide
For I don’t want to fight this tide.

I pray like falling rain and light
For I don’t want to fight this tide.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
January 21, 2023

Hello, family and friends. Sorry I’ve been a bit MIA. I’ve been offline much of the week due to work. I’ve worked more overtime the past month since my days in the 80’s working at Arthur Andersen & Co during tax season. Of course, that was 40 years ago when I was in my 20’s…. Suffice it to say, I’m exhausted – because I am, well…. older! My life is: Drink coffee, work, eat, exercise, drink wine and sleep. And repeat. That’s about it lately!

I’ve been trying to stick with a healthy diet through all this, and that has been tough. I have managed to resist the sweet treats and temptations at work, and at home. However, tonight after my 6 mile run, my body was craving some comfort food. So I whipped up a quick meal of Boboli pizza crust, with sauce, parmesan, mozzarella, freshly cut basil, green/red/yellow peppers and seasoning. Yum, and Dan was happy about that too! A guilty pleasure that was, but I think my body just needed some carbohydrates, even if they were not good ones. You just need to give yourself a break after eating oatmeal, salads and soup every day, ya know?

It was really nice this evening to exercise the right side of my brain with a poem. It was a stress buster. There actually haven’t been clouds in my coffee, there are NUMBERS in my coffee LOL!!!! I dream about processing 1099s, W-2s, 941s and running my 10 key calculator. I still have one, and yes, I tape footed numbers to my workpapers just like back in the 80’s. That’s how I roll. My eyes can’t take reconciling bank statements from a PDF online. I have to print them and tick off transactions. Yeah, I am old school.

Well, that’s all I got. Only 10 more days until January ends, then the overtime will ease a bit. I can do it! Have a great weekend.
xoxo Colleen

Mood: Exhausted
Inspiration: “The Sky is Broken” by Moby

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 29.14 Topic: Clouds in My Coffee
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric by Moby (“I pray like falling rain and light;” I don’t want to fight this tide;” “the sky is broken.”)
Easy Bonus: Include carbohydrates

Unbroken

Unbroken

I
hover
in darkness
looking for light
the minutes tick by
waiting with bated breath
countdown to imminent death
from the graveyard, the spirits cry
hanging in the icy air of night
reality shines, eyesight to the blind
shivering as memories cloud my mind
leaving my loneliness unbroken
heart ravaged by words unspoken
hold on ‘til the bitter end
my spirit shall transcend
standing in the fray
with the heart-felt
promise of
New Year’s
Day

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
January 7, 2023

Happy New Year! It’s my first blog for 2023. I am glad that 2022 came to a close, there were lots of ups and downs for our families last year. Many happy memories were made, but we experienced the shocking death of Dan’s brother Bob in April and his oldest brother has been suffering with major health issues since July. It really opens your eyes to our own mortality and the realization to live life to your fullest.

We are all getting older and experiencing our own aches, pains and illnesses. In the past 13 months I’ve had COVID, pneumonia, bronchitis, multiple sinus infections, and gall bladder surgery. I am extremely healthy and very active, but experienced long COVID with lingering respiratory and fatigue issues. All the other sickness followed COVID, which makes you wonder how badly it affects our immune systems. Those of you who know me know that I don’t have a lot of patience for being under the weather. I don’t have time for that but have learned this year that I need to make time. Self-care is so important. Even doing little things like making sure you get enough water to drink each day can make a huge impact on your general health and how much energy you have!

I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions, I just believe in always striving to be the best I can be, whether that is in my home life, my health, my job, etc. One thing I did achieve last year is that I lost about 15 pounds last year using the Noom app, and I feel great. It was a slow, intentional loss that happened over several months. It is based on the psychology of eating, and helps you identify eating habits and make changes. You basically log weight, food, exercise and water into the app, and progress through the course. I want to keep that weight off, because I feel so much better in my skin. There were no food restrictions, keto, paleo, intermittent fasting or crazy diets involved. It was more of an intentional mental shift to eat mindfully and healthy, in moderation, and cut down on portions and be accountable to yourself. That being said, I gave myself grace and still splurged over the holidays, enjoying the things I love: Christmas candy, cookies, wine, champagne, shrimp and cocktail sauce, mashed potatoes with gravy, corn pudding, etc. I just did it in moderation, and I tried not to continue a binge of these things.

This weekend is dedicated to one of my least favorite tasks: undecorating the house. Yep, all the Christmas decorations are coming down, the tree will be dismantled and the “gift shop” closed until next year. (That’s what Dan jokingly calls our house when it gets fully decked out for Christmas). It is always kind of sad, but it’s necessary. I feel the urge to get everything back to normal now. Busy season is already upon us, and I’ll be working major overtime beginning next week. I wish you all a Happy New Year and lots of love!

xoxo
Colleen

Mood: Reflective
Inspiration “Time” by Hans Zimmer – amazing composer!!

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 27.14 Topic: Keeping Up With Time
Hard Bonus: Include an Edgar Allen Poe line or quote (“hanging in the icy air of night” and “leave my loneliness unbroken”)
Easy Bonus: Mention shrimp and cocktail sauce

Christmas Spirit

Christmas Spirit

The crimson sun comes crashing down
Blood red rays tumble to the ground.
I see it through the scarlet glare,
Christmas spirit is everywhere.

I find joy in falling snowflakes,
Even though my broken heart aches.
Scent of pine needles in the air,
Christmas spirit is everywhere.

Oh silent night, most holy night,
I’m drawn towards the eastern light.
I bow my head to say a prayer,
Christmas spirit is everywhere.

The crimson sun comes crashing down,
Christmas spirit is everywhere.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
December 30, 2022

Well I have written yet another Kyrielle sonnet this week. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah! It was a very low key Christmas holiday for us. We spent it with the cats in the morning, then up to my Mom’s and my sister Sarah and her family for dinner and gifts. Next year, we’re definitely planning to spend Christmas in Florida to see the grandkids and both Vince and Katie. We’re kind of glad we didn’t follow through with it this year. As it turns out, the flights were exorbitant, and the cancellations were massive due to the crippling winter storm! Next year will be our year.

I finally got an opportunity to run outside today, the first time in over 3 months since having my gall bladder surgery. The day was sunny with high temps in the low 50’s – perfect running weather in my opinion! However, I was giving myself some grace, since it had been so long. But I am happy to report that I did my usual 6 mile run without stopping, 6 laps around the beautiful lake in our neighborhood. The geese were congregating in the middle of the lake, and some parts were frozen. I observed a herd of deer grazing in the lot across the lake. The sun was beginning to set, and I snapped some photos of the reflection on the lake. It was a delightful run, and I’m looking forward to getting back to a regular routine with running once again.

Tonight Dan and I went out for an spur of the moment early New Year dinner at the country club. It was delicious, and not crowded at all. We usually stay in New Years’ Eve, have some shrimp and champagne, and call it a night at 12:05 lol. We don’t care to be out on the roads on what Dan calls “Amateur Night!” There will probably be some Scrabble games, maybe even a fire pit since it is supposed to go into the 60s tomorrow.

I wish for all of you the happiest 2023! May you know many blessings and experience peace, love and happiness.

xoxo Colleen

Mood: Calm
Inspiration: “Silent Night”

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 26.14 Topic: The Spirit of Christmas
Hard Bonus: Incorporate your favorite Christmas Carol or holiday song lyric ( “Silent night”)
Easy Bonus: Include 3 shades of red (crimson, blood red, scarlet)

Empty Sky

Empty Sky

My witness is the empty sky,
Devoid of any truth or lie.
Raindrops tumble from clouds of gray…
It all ends in tears anyway.

Winter wallows with brutal cold
As cherished memories unfold.
No matter what they do or say…
It all ends in tears anyway.

Behold as Christmas comes again
With scent of spruce and cinnamon.
But time is cruel, stealing the day…
It all ends in tears anyway.

My witness is the empty sky…
It all ends in tears anyway.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
December 24, 2022

Merry Christmas to all! I was trying to incorporate a lighter Christmas mood, but Jack Kerouac kind of rained on my parade today. Haha!! Researching his quotes, the two lines I chose stuck with me and fit into this Kyrielle sonnet scheme as the repeating final couplet. As I’ve said before, writing a sonnet is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle of words!

Actually I was thinking of how this past year was very difficult for so many. On a personal level, seems like those close to me have gone through a lot this year (or the past 3 years, I should say). This morning I was reflecting on the loss of my dear brother-in-law Bob this past April. It was on both Dan and my mind, we happened to talk about it upon waking this cold Christmas Eve. We both have such wonderful memories of Bob, his tales of adventure, Sasquatch, goofing off in Michigan with the kids. If you knew Bob, you can just imagine! All kids absolutely LOVED him! Our kids loved playing pranks on him, one year they woke him as he was sleeping in the basement with a robot contraption featuring a vacuum cleaner! I have some hilarious pictures of him – what a sense of humor and a beautiful heart he had. He was the youngest of four Breuning brothers, and the loss was very sudden and tragic. It left us all stunned and devastated, we are still saddened by his early departure from this Earth.

It is also that time of year when I reflect on special Christmas memories from my childhood, and how lucky I was to have the parents and siblings I have. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up, but we always had special family times and memories. Some of them were crazy funny, and it’s always so much fun to repeat those stories when we are all together (which unfortunately is getting rarer these days). Christmas has always seemed less special after losing my father in 2003. It sort of jolts you into this alternate reality: your parents are actually not going to be immortal like you secretly hoped. I cherish all the time I have with my Mom and look forward to seeing her on Christmas!

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas, may you spend it surrounded with your loved ones, making more cherished memories. Stay safe, and stay warm!

XOXO Colleen

Mood: Melancholy
Inspiration: “Morning” by David Darling

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 25.14 Topic: A Cherished Memory
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a quote or line by author/ poet Jack Kerouac (“My witness is the empty sky” and “It all ends in tears anyway.”)
Easy Bonus: Mention your favorite herb or spice (cinnamon)

Hurricane Bones

Hurricane Bones

I woke to the sound of rain
hard upon the roof
gutters gushing streams of pain
mourning doves aloof.

Brittle bones begin to ache
as outer bands lope
ominous clouds roll and break
overshadowed hope.

The cat snuggles up to warm
soft gray, purring deep
seeking comfort from the storm
drifting back to sleep.

Astral spirits have been spurned
blue skies turn to black
too late, for the tide has turned
there’s no going back.

Cold winds thrash with great despair
ravishing the land
flesh, bone, there is nothing there
dust mingles with sand.

The rain falls like tumbling stones
melding sky and sea
sorrow carried in my bones
for eternity.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
November 11, 2022

I must be getting old, or else that hour long Martial Arts workout last night kicked my butt, haha. Today I truly did awake to the sound of rain (one of my favorite Sylvia Plath lines)… and pain! I had slept 8 hours, but literally felt like someone pummeled me. Neither Aleve nor Advil helped. I have been trying to fend off a sinus infection ever since our return from Florida last week. I did finally to go my PCP and was prescribed antibiotics since I just had pneumonia/bronchitis/sinus in July. Today, the combination of the sinus infection, the remnants of Hurricane Nicole passing through and two long work weeks have left me feeling whipped.

The topic “hurricane” is one close to my heart, having lived 24 years in South Florida and riding out many – starting from Hurricane Andrew in 1991 through Hurricane Wilma in 2006, which left us powerless for 2 weeks. It was one of the top reasons we left and moved to Virginia. My kids still both reside in Florida, so anytime there’s one churning in the Atlantic or the Gulf, we’re relentlessly watching the “cone” and following the hurricane’s track. It is so exhausting going through a hurricane, from the preparation through the aftermath. It can be absolutely frightening and heartbreaking.

Today we just stayed home, did a little non-taxing accounting work (pardon the pun), laundry and ate some homemade chili that I defrosted this week. It was delicious and so warming on a dreary day like today. Anyway, the topic and the Sylvia Plath poetry lines were my muse this week. Just a little rhyme scheme composition I played around with, to reflect a passing mood. I’ll feel better tomorrow, because there is work to be done around this house in preparation for the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays! Best of all – Katie, Brenton, Posie and Hatcher will be coming for a visit beginning November 30. I cannot wait! Have a good weekend, everyone!

xoxo Colleen

Mood: Achy Breaky
Inspiration: “I’ll Take the Rain” by REM

Blogophilia Week 19.14 Hurricanes Hope
Hard Bonus: Include a line from a Sylvia Plath poem (“I woke to the sound of rain” and “Flesh, bone, there is nothing there”)
Easy Bonus: Include your favorite animal (dove, cat)

The Darkness

The Darkness

The darkness descends with its gloom
Wrathful clouds release their cold rain
Alone, imprisoned in this room
Bold wind rattles the windowpane.

Wrathful clouds release their cold rain
On a canvas of purple gloam.
Bold wind rattles the windowpane
As wayward geese make their way home.

On a canvas of purple gloam
Hunter moon rises in night sky
As wayward geese make their way home
All hope lost, I begin to cry.

Hunter moon rises in night sky
An owl cries out in the chill air
All hope lost, I begin to cry
It seems all roads point to nowhere.

An owl cries out in the chill air
Daylight is doused and nights are long
It seems all roads point to nowhere
I lift my voice in a swan song.

Daylight is doused and nights are long
Alone, imprisoned in this room
I lift my voice in a swan song
The darkness descends with its gloom.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
October 14, 2022

I was determined to write a pantoum this week, as it’s been a while since I wrote one. After looking at a list of Kevin Bacon movies, there were some good titles… but “The Darkness” stood out for me. (TRIGGER WARNING: she’s taking a walk on the dark side again, haha!!!!) The poem just sort of morphed from there. I threw some lines down and worked it like a jigsaw puzzle. Fun!

I tried to take elements of autumn, darkness and the changes of this season to illustrate moods we sometimes feel. Darkness, hopelessness, feeling paralyzed, frustrated, like things are spiraling out of our control. We’ve been hearing an owl hooting out there in our backyard, and there’s been a bit of moody weather. It’s getting darker earlier, and sometimes that makes you just feel like nesting and not going anywhere or doing much of anything at all. I’m not really a prisoner in my own room, but after recovering from surgery and working long hours from home… it kind of makes you feel that way!!

I love writing dark, it’s my therapy and a constructive release of pent-up emotions. Sometimes it is just a fleeting thought or memory that comes out of the blue and doesn’t necessarily reflect anything negative that’s going on in my life. It’s just poetry – so no need for worry!

The good news is that I’m released from my surgeon, back to my regular exercise schedule and an ALMOST normal diet. I still have to watch fat intake, I rarely eat fried foods so that helps. Last night I baked a homemade veggie pizza on my new pizza stone, it turned out delicious. Our intention is to get out and enjoy the autumn weather today. The leaves are starting to change color, and I want to experience it in person (not just from my window)! So we will head out to a winery and listen to music. That’s our special thing. I am also hoping to get outside for a run tomorrow, as well. That is always good for my spirits.

Seize the day! Get out and enjoy something you love this beautiful autumn weekend!

xoxo
Colleen

Inspiration: “Rain of Feathers” Sophie Hutchings
Mood: Dark