darkness – Colleen Keller Breuning

Dragon Hunters

Dragon Hunters

Linen clouds drift by,
dragon hunters swift and spry,
morphing in the sky.

Fluffy figures fair
cast their magic everywhere,
marching through the air.

Let’s chase the gold sun
like china dolls on the run;
the hunt has begun.

Through marshes we wade,
hues of emerald and jade,
as pastel skies fade.

The darkness descends;
hidden deep inside the glen
is the dragon’s den.

Dragon roars echo
louder than the cackling crow,
amber eyes aglow.

Black velvet twilight,
creeping shivers in the night;
just hold my hand tight.

In our veins fear flows;
should we stay or should we go?
heaven only knows.

Nothing’s what it seems;
slay that dragon with moon beams,
wake up from your dreams.

Hatcher and Posie,
won’t you dragon hunt with me?
I miss you dearly….

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
February 4, 2023

I just loved the whimsical topic of Dragon Hunter this week. It inspired me to write a rhyming haiku series, not always easy to do with the syllable limits. It immediately took me back to my own childhood days of cloud gazing, and when I did the same with my own kids. What a magical thing it is! I still do it when I get a chance, but often it is when Dan is driving and we both notice the beautiful cloud shapes in the Virginia sky. I probably take as many cloud pictures as I do cat pictures – well, maybe not. Certainly not as many pictures I take of my grandchildren Posie and Hatcher, when I get the chance to be with them!

This week’s poem is dedicated to Posie and Hatcher. They are my heart’s delight, and Katie sends me photos daily of them. They are growing and changing each day. When we saw them in October and December, I gave Posie a bunch of Katie’s things that I had saved from when she was a child. There was one particular pale pink satin leotard and matching skirt that Katie wore nonstop – and Posie wore it to her gymnastic class and riding her scooter yesterday! You can’t imagine how deeply that touched my heart. And little Hatcher is growing and just got a big boy haircut – WOW, he looks even more handsome than before! I simply cannot wait to see them and play with them again. Grandchildren are so very special.

I hope you have a chance to breathe deep and cloud gaze this weekend. It is so relaxing to just watch the clouds drift by and morph into different shapes. It’s good for the soul, and it brings immediate serenity to me. Have a wonderful weekend, all!

XOXO

Colleen

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 31.14 Topic: Dragon Hunter
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric by The Clash (Should I stay or should I go)
Easy Bonus: Include your favorite childhood toy (doll)

Caged Bird

Caged Bird

When daylight turns to darkness
Gray clouds of despair take wing
Shrouded in fear and sorrow
The caged bird cannot sing.

Drained of joy and self-regard
Feeling beat down, chained, confined
One step forward, two steps back
Dark thoughts tumble through my mind.

Don’t use your words as weapons
You have no power over me
Don’t try to crush my spirit
This caged bird will be free.

An angel comes to visit
In the shadows of the night
Releasing guilt and bondage
And the caged bird takes flight.

Step out of the cold darkness
Spread your wings and soar so high
A slave no more, flying free
Like a diamond in the sky.

Don’t use your words as weapons
You have no power over me
Don’t try to crush my spirit
This caged bird is finally free.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
October 8, 2021

I wrote this poem for the Instagram group Her Growth Collective, @hergrowthcollective. I decided to combine the topics from the last two weeks – “Self-Regard” and “Guilt.” I had been working on this poem/song lyric for about a week. Tying in these prompts brought it all together.

Do you have low self-esteem or self-regard? Do you suffer from intense feelings of guilt?

I sure do! In fact, I think these two things tend to go hand-in-hand. I have a very bad habit of putting myself down, being hyper critical of myself or minimizing my thoughts and emotions. I can also remember always having this burning sense of guilt over something I did or did not do, even as a young child.

I am not sure if something happened in my childhood to cause this, perhaps being raised a strict Catholic and/or going to a Catholic school with nuns driving down this sense of guilt, shame and self-loathing. More likely it’s merely an inherited personality trait. These feelings intensified as I became an adult and multiplied exponentially once I became a mother. I think we all tend to put ourselves last, especially mothers. Self-care becomes an unreachable dream that we never seem to be able to achieve or make time for. It is always last on the to-do list.

Just one week ago, I left a job and organization which I truly loved after 8 years of dedication…. I will spare the details, but I had to make the choice to leave for personal reasons. It had simply become necessary for my survival. I finally had to put the oxygen mask on myself and practice self-care. Not to sound dramatic, but I am still in the early stages of decompressing. A plethora of emotions are swirling inside me, but I am finally free of certain things that had become extremely unhealthy and toxic to me personally. I am breathing easier and taking time for myself without any fears. I know my own self-worth and nobody else dictates that. I know that I deserve this. No need to feel guilty for finally taking care of myself first.

We all deserve to live a life free of emotional bondage. If you are suffering from low self-esteem or guilt that you can pinpoint on one thing in your life, do yourself a favor. Be kind to yourself. Set yourself free.

Colleen M. Breuning © 2021
October 8, 2021

Mood: Calm, Introspective
Music Inspiration: Olafur Arnalds “Only the Winds”

Beast of Burden

Beast of Burden

I’m facing dark clouds tomorrow
Soul weighed down by pain and sorrow
Western wind is blowing colder
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

Off the rails, rogue brain is chasing
Daunting demons I am facing
Fear etched face, I’m feeling older
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

My heart pounds wildly on the edge
Teetering on unstable ledge
Cast away the heavy boulder
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

I’m facing dark clouds tomorrow
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
July 30, 2021

When you pray to God for a sign, and He’s been throwing all kinds of hints at you for a very long time to make a decision…. and you finally, finally, finally listen. Thank you, God.

Spring Equinox

Spring Equinox

Ides of March haunt me
as I sulk in my bedroom
wallow in darkness

winter winds persist
robins ruffle breast feathers
at the hint of snow

shades of ivory
floating free from the heavens
melting on impact

new dawn breaks golden
sun rays caress tulip buds
cherry trees blossom

feel the world shifting
on cusp of spring equinox
birdsong lifts my heart

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
March 20, 2021

Meet & Greet:

Happy Spring and Happy Anniversary to us! My real name is Colleen Marie Keller Breuning and I’m a faithful Blogophiliac to the core. I can’t believe it’s been 14 years that we’ve been blogging together in Blogophilia!

I joined in 2008, the very first season — not sure the exact week, but I estimate sometime between Week 11 & 15. I remember seeing Blogophilia when it first launched, but I just lurked a while because I wasn’t sure if I was up to the challenge. I believe I saw a few of the poets and writers from other Myspace groups posting there – DJ Myke, Violeta Falo, Craig Fallon and Dahlia Ramone come to mind. I decided to dive in head-first with a revealing emo poem. I think Tyler Myrth joined about the same time as me or a few weeks later. And I do not think I’ve missed one week since then, despite vacations, illnesses, crazy work hours, exhaustion, life in general and lack of motivation!

The thing I love most about Blogophilia is the friendship and camaraderie within the group. I have met several of the present and past participants in real life: Violeta Falo, Dahlia Ramone, Christine Wichman and Lisa Kessler. And the funny thing is I met all of them during various trips to California. I would love to meet more of you in the future! Let me know if you are ever in the Northern VA/Washington DC area. I would be happy to meet you at a winery (but of course)! 😉

Another thing I love about Blogophilia is that it’s the ONE thing that has kept me writing consistently every single week!!! Honestly if not for that weekly challenge, I would probably be quite lazy and just not write. I try hard to find at least an hour or so on a Friday or Saturday to dedicate to writing. If you do the math, since we have now completed 13 years, that is roughly around 676 weeks of writing challenges! (WOW!!!!!) That means 676 poems that I otherwise may not have written on my own. I also love that the different challenges (some very boggling) often lead me down a rabbit hole, and I end up writing something I normally would not write. The one thing I most regret is not having enough time lately to visit everyone’s blogs. It weighs on my mind that life is so busy that I can’t even do the reading I WANT to do. Work and life circumstances have been taking up the majority of my time recently. I apologize and hope to do better! *sigh*

So thank you for the years of dedication to our group and the writing inspiration, Marvin Martian and the entire gang of Blogophiliacs! I love you all!! ❤

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 1.14 Topic: Happy Anniversary to Us (Topic Provided by Marvin)
Bonuses – Choose up to three bonus suggestions and use in your blog to score 2 points each (6 points maximum): From the list Marvin provided I used: 1. Ivory for the 14^th anniversary. 2. Ides of March. 3. Something a 14 year old likes to do – sulk in bedroom

*****MEET & GREET – Score extra points for introducing yourself either on the WordPress blog or the Ecrits Blogophilia Facebook post. Include your name, when you started with Blogophilia and your favorite thing about the Blogophilia writing group/challenges!!!*****

SECRET PHRASE GUESSES:

1. Party Time
2. Hey Mr. DJ
3. Hit the Dance Floor
4. Move it to the rhythm
5. Get into the Groove
6. Pump up the Jam!
7. Techno Beat
8. Mosh pit
9. Dancing machine
10. Let the rhythm move you

Des Larmes Pour Paris (Tears For Paris)

Tears For Paris

Des Larmes Pour Paris (Tears for Paris)

It all started with just a seed of hate
propaganda straining with the weight
suicide bombers, lives torn apart
as desperate screams pierce the heart.

Day without sun, stars without night
moon without glow, what a lonely sight
in a river of fear all hopes drown
as the levee comes crashing down.

And the wayfarer never makes it home
his spirit cast away, to forever roam
pierced by the shrapnel, left for dead
as the streets of Paris turn scarlet red.

Point the finger, place the blame
but we shall never be the same
damage done, no turning back
as the tower lights fade to black.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2015
November 17, 2015

Never What You See

Never What You See

Twilight comes early in November cold

the migrant geese cry and stake their claim

as I walk in my solitary world

where darkness rules and light is scarce

and loneliness adds beauty to life.

I have been restless for as long as I can remember

but there is change in the air

there is change in the wind

fear stirs the stagnant spirit, propels it forward

and the echo of music strikes a chord deep inside.

Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue,

and broken bones eventually heal

we cross the threshold from young to old

masking the hurt, numbing the pain

but silence is not golden.

So don’t jump to conclusions about the sunset

its stark light refracting beneath cover of clouds

hidden bruises bleeding broken indigo ink

in beautiful streaks of mottled red and purple

and taints the sky with mixed emotions.

The truth is never what you see.

November 10, 2015

Refrain (A Kyrielle Sonnet)

Refrain

Night echoes in my heavy heart
Painted darkness, my work of art.
Words and anguish mingle with rain,
My soul released with each refrain.

Voices clash, intentions aground
When everyone has his own sound.
Sing out chorus, relieve this pain,
My soul released with each refrain.

Hope abides in blue skies and seas,
The mountain range, the forest breeze.
Harmony restores, peace sustains,
My soul released with each refrain.

Night echoes in my heavy heart,
My soul released with each refrain.

To Mingle With Shooting Stars

To Mingle With Shooting Stars

These tired bones ache
and the futile tears fall
undetected, unrelenting,
like soft rain on a summer day.

The wind stills in deference
to a radiant light rising up,
drawing closer, closer
as I crawl to the precipice.

I am about to take my last voyage,
a great leap in the dark
where faith meets fate,
where screams in dreams are silenced.

Will I fall like a lead weight
or sprout butterfly wings;
sink into the fiery depths
or ascend a stairway to heaven?

Plunged into the frigid darkness,
holy water seeps through my skin,
coming clean of past transgressions,
purifying my tarnished soul.

Thunder shakes heaven and earth,
the sentinel angels have spoken;
my body and spirit finally set free
to mingle with shooting stars.

For my dear friend Deborah Truitt…RIP. I love you.