Tag Archives: spirit

The Whispering Wind

The Whispering Wind

When night falls with pain and sorrow
and I’m feeling cold and hollow,
in the midst of anxiety,
the whispering wind comforts me.

Hear the caress of windchime rings
as the lonely mockingbird sings.
While pondering my destiny,
the whispering wind comforts me.

Now as my restless spirit roams,
guide me to my heavenly home,
and when the rain falls to the sea,
the whispering wind comforts me.

When night falls with pain and sorrow,
the whispering wind comforts me.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
March 3, 2023

Happy Friday! I quickly penned this sonnet in between work projects this evening. It’s feeling a little bit like winter this evening, dark and the wind a bit gusty. The wind seems to speak to me here at our home in Virginia. We get a very strong western wind that comes straight down the road and hits the front of our home, as we are at the bottom of the cul-de-sac. Sometimes it whispers, but other times it howls like a banshee! I almost think the wind is one of my muses. I mean, after all, I am a Gemini an air sign. Maybe that’s why the wind evokes my senses. I have sensitive but strong lungs, haha.  

I can’t believe it’s already March. The winter has flown by. Are you ready for spring? I certainly am – and my daffodils are already starting to bloom. I hate to complain about the weather too much, but it sure has been finicky lately. One day it’s 30 degrees, next day it’s 70! The highly variable temperatures are confusing the spring bulbs, and also wreaking havoc on people’s health. I think it’s safe to say most of us are ready to embrace some warmer weather and enjoy the sun a bit. And on the bright side – daylights savings time starts next weekend, so it will be lighter later in the day. Yahoo! I can’t wait for that, as it gets old driving home from work in the dark. It can be a bit nerve wracking, and I’m always paranoid I’m going to hit a deer or something.

Nothing else new here. Dan and I are pretty busy with tax season, so we haven’t been doing much but working. One of these days we’ll get out for a winery visit, but not this weekend. Lately we’re lucky to go to the grocery store together, lol… We need to plan our next vacation, as this is the first time ever we don’t have specific plans in the books. A tropical getaway sure would be nice! Hmmm…. time to start daydreaming. But more likely, it will be a trip to Florida to visit the grandkids, whom I miss dearly. Have a great weekend, everyone.

xoxo
Colleen

Mood: Windy
Inspiration: “Whispering Wind” by Moby

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 35.14 Topic: Whispering Wind
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric from the band New Order  (“when the rain falls to the sea”)
Easy Bonus: Include a gymnastics event (rings)

Whistle of the Train

Whistle of the Train

I can hear your voice calling me,
a gentle breeze across the sea,
in the mourning dove’s sad refrain,
with every whistle of the train.

As tracks of hot tears stain my face,
my heart longs for your warm embrace,
a balm that soothes this endless pain
with every whistle of the train.

The candlewick is burning low,
twenty years gone, I miss you so.
My love for you will never wane
with every whistle of the train.

I can hear your voice calling me
with every whistle of the train.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
February 25, 2023

To Dad… I know you are watching over me. I miss you and love you so much!

Mood: Missing You
Inspiration: “Dear Father” by Neil Diamond

Happy Saturday, everyone! I started this poem on the 20th anniversary of my father’s death, which was February 17, 2023. But for some reason, I needed some time and space to finish it, so I put it aside. I have been so busy at work, and I was aware this day was coming soon. But when I looked at the calendar that morning it hit me like an anvil to my heart. I started to weep, tears of sorrow falling for the man who gave me life. I couldn’t seem to shake it, so I let the emotions out.

Dad was our rock, a gentle giant, a silent man. However, when he had something to say – you listened! I feel like he was my protector, as most of siblings undoubtedly feel, too. He realized that I was young, stupid and was going to learn things by my mistakes in life. Yet he stood by me and loved me throughout these challenges. Both he and Mom have been there for me through many difficult times, my darkest days. I am ever grateful to both of them for giving me the best possible childhood, even though we struggled financially at times. I have the happiest memories to carry me through life.

Trains have a significant meaning in my life since my Dad worked at the railroad yards.  Growing up, he would take me to some of these locations, let me explore the parked caboose and roam around the yards. I would clean up the office space, even cooked a baked bean dinner on a small gas heater one time at Cumbo, a remote rail yard in West Virginia! That probably would be considered taboo in this day and age, but I loved it. Every time I hear a train whistle, I think of him. I don’t hear them often where I live now or when we lived in Florida. But at my Winchester office, I hear the nearby train whistle several times each day, and it is such a comfort to me. I feel as if it’s my Dad telling me he is just fine.

Naturally, we all wish we could have had more time with him. He died way too young, only 68 years old. It was small cell lung cancer, as he was a life-long smoker. It was absolutely heart-wrenching to see how that disease consumed him. It really hit me thinking how Dan and I are inching ever closer to that age, and facing our own mortality is frightening. I guess we need to try to make the most of every day we have on this Earth!  I think that is a message we should all take to heart.

The video I am posting from Neil Diamond is a song Dad loved and played often. It has a special place in my heart and evokes memories each time I hear it. Have a good weekend!

XOXO Colleen

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 34.14 Topic: Freedom of Choice
Hard Bonus: Write a Kyrielle Sonnet (my writer’s choice)
Easy Bonus: Include a train whistle (my writer’s choice)

Unbroken

Unbroken

I
hover
in darkness
looking for light
the minutes tick by
waiting with bated breath
countdown to imminent death
from the graveyard, the spirits cry
hanging in the icy air of night
reality shines, eyesight to the blind
shivering as memories cloud my mind
leaving my loneliness unbroken
heart ravaged by words unspoken
hold on ‘til the bitter end
my spirit shall transcend
standing in the fray
with the heart-felt
promise of
New Year’s
Day

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
January 7, 2023

Happy New Year! It’s my first blog for 2023. I am glad that 2022 came to a close, there were lots of ups and downs for our families last year. Many happy memories were made, but we experienced the shocking death of Dan’s brother Bob in April and his oldest brother has been suffering with major health issues since July. It really opens your eyes to our own mortality and the realization to live life to your fullest.

We are all getting older and experiencing our own aches, pains and illnesses. In the past 13 months I’ve had COVID, pneumonia, bronchitis, multiple sinus infections, and gall bladder surgery. I am extremely healthy and very active, but experienced long COVID with lingering respiratory and fatigue issues.  All the other sickness followed COVID, which makes you wonder how badly it affects our immune systems. Those of you who know me know that I don’t have a lot of patience for being under the weather. I don’t have time for that but have learned this year that I need to make time. Self-care is so important. Even doing little things like making sure you get enough water to drink each day can make a huge impact on your general health and how much energy you have!

I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions, I just believe in always striving to be the best I can be, whether that is in my home life, my health, my job, etc. One thing I did achieve last year is that I lost about 15 pounds last year using the Noom app, and I feel great. It was a slow, intentional loss that happened over several months. It is based on the psychology of eating, and helps you identify eating habits and make changes. You basically log weight, food, exercise and water into the app, and progress through the course. I want to keep that weight off, because I feel so much better in my skin. There were no food restrictions, keto, paleo, intermittent fasting or crazy diets involved. It was more of an intentional mental shift to eat mindfully and healthy, in moderation, and cut down on portions and be accountable to yourself. That being said, I gave myself grace and still splurged over the holidays, enjoying the things I love: Christmas candy, cookies, wine, champagne, shrimp and cocktail sauce, mashed potatoes with gravy, corn pudding, etc. I just did it in moderation, and I tried not to continue a binge of these things.

This weekend is dedicated to one of my least favorite tasks: undecorating the house. Yep, all the Christmas decorations are coming down, the tree will be dismantled and the “gift shop” closed until next year. (That’s what Dan jokingly calls our house when it gets fully decked out for Christmas). It is always kind of sad, but it’s necessary. I feel the urge to get everything back to normal now. Busy season is already upon us, and I’ll be working major overtime beginning next week. I wish you all a Happy New Year and lots of love!

xoxo
Colleen

Mood: Reflective
Inspiration “Time” by Hans Zimmer – amazing composer!!

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 27.14 Topic: Keeping Up With Time
Hard Bonus: Include an Edgar Allen Poe line or quote (“hanging in the icy air of night” and “leave my loneliness unbroken”)
Easy Bonus: Mention shrimp and cocktail sauce

Light Fading

Light Fading

Twilight is falling,
autumn breeze blowing.
Past the honeysuckle bushes,
my tired feet are slowing.

My breath comes in gasps
under periwinkle skies.
Can you see the light fading
when you look into my eyes?

Is this how it will go
when we get to the end?
Will you take one last glimpse
and let my spirit ascend?

Will you hold me and dance
beneath the amber moon?
Or kiss my lips tender
as the wayward geese swoon?

I’m grasping onto moments
like the free-falling sand.
Can you see time slipping through
my pale weathered hands?

Now the wind pushes onward
and like a willow, I bend.
As I grow ever weaker,
will you hold me til the end?

Then search for my light
in the field of white stars.
Speak to me nightly
as I watch from afar.

Tuck away our memories
and forget them, never.
My spirit glows in your heart,
for my love is forever.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
August 21, 2022

I wrote this about a month ago and tweaked it today, on my Dad’s 88th heavenly birthday. As I get older and closer to the age he was when he died back in 2002, I can only imagine how sad he must have felt in his final months. I am sure he wanted to hold onto all of us for as long as he possibly could, despite his pain… It made me ponder and think of how I would feel, if I knew that my time was ending soon. How much I would miss my sweet husband, my children, my grandchildren, and my family and friends! Not wanting to cause pain, but knowing they would be devastated after I was gone. It also provides some insight and a reminder that we should live every single day to the fullest, and be grateful for those in our lives. We never know how much time we have left on this Earth.

Not trying to be melancholy, but sometimes my mind goes to these places and this is how I deal with it. My poetry is my refuge, my comfort, my way to deal with overwhelming emotions. I share it so that you can take from it what you want, and to feel whatever emotion the words might dredge up inside your soul.  I wish you all peace, love and pray that you continue to make happy memories and cherish your loved ones. I know I certainly will!

xoxo Colleen

Inspiration: Moby “Everloving”
Mood: Thoughtful

Lines in the Sand

Lines in the Sand

The wind blew cold
The moon grew old
And just where did our time go?
In void of gray
You slipped away
Where all cloaked emotions flow…

Inhale the breeze
Of churning seas
As hope scatters across land.
I stand alone
Hand clasping stone
And I draw lines in the sand…

I drew you lines in the sand,
Lines in the sand…

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
July 4, 2022

I’ve been on a real Radiohead kick the past few years, and I was excited that both of my sisters are Radiohead fans as well! This is one group I have yet to see in concert, but I’m keeping my eye out for their next tour. 😉

I think Thom Yorke is one of the most brilliant lyricists and singers. His voice is ethereal, haunting, and sends chills down my spine. I particularly love this song, “Sail to the Moon,” which Thom wrote for his son. It makes me think of my beloved Tommy, especially during Tommy’s battle with lymphoma, which fatefully claimed him. I would sing the lyrics to this song to Tommy, and pray he was going to be okay.

Somehow as I was listening to this song, it inspired this poem. I don’t know why but it just came to me, starting with the phrase “lines in the sand” and it just sort of morphed into this. I love when that happens! Thank you, Thom Yorke, for your constant inspiration!

xoxo Colleen

Weightless

Weightless

Twilight calling
scent of jasmine in the air
starlight falling
silver strands upon my hair.

You take my hand
pull me close against your chest
love is dawning
my fretful spirit cannot rest.

See the ambient moon rising
high up in the night
and my heart aches for freedom
to dance in the amber light
to spread my wings and take flight
holding on
until dawn
when we rise with the sun
breathe in the fresh air
floating on the clouds without a care.

And I’m weightless…
weightless in your arms
weightless in your arms
shelter me from harm.

Venus shining
passion puts us in a trance
swaying to and fro
captivated by romance.

Evening is long
filled with the mockingbird’s song
tender lips graze
wash away the tears and wrongs.

See the ambient moon rising
high up in the night
and my heart aches for freedom
to dance in the amber light
to spread my wings and take flight
holding on
until dawn
when we rise with the sun
breathe in the fresh air
floating on the clouds without a care.

And I’m weightless…
weightless in your arms
weightless in your arms
shelter me from harm.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
May 21, 2022

It’s been a very long time since I have written. Lots of things were keeping me in a writer’s block of sorts the past few months …. a new job, busy tax season, the sudden death of Dan’s brother, dealing with grief and other life changes. As a result, I got out of the habit of keeping true to my Friday morning writing schedule. I really miss our Blogophilia group, that kept me on track. I miss our interactions and find myself on social media a lot less these days. I hope to get back to my writing weekly, even if it’s a simple haiku.

Here’s a little song, lighter than what I’ve been feeling lately. Here’s to love….

xoxo Colleen

Inspiration: “Serenade” by Emiliana Torrini
Mood: Wistful

Promise of the Rose

Promise of the Rose

A promised green garden withers to seed,
Dried petals scattered on the barren ground.
Silent anguish as the crimson rose bleeds,
Grief carried on the wind without a sound.

Tears burn a path when hope has slipped away,
Hot crystals sparking precious memories.
The fragrance of the summer jasmine sway,
The gentle rhythm of the crashing sea.

Now the nightingale sings a soothing tune,
Spread your wings, set your restless spirit free.
It’s time to soar beyond the crescent moon,
For the universe is your destiny.

Somewhere beyond a million silver stars,
Eternal rapture beckons from afar.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
February 15, 2021

A repost of a poem written and dedicated to Cherry Rose, a kind and beloved poet who passed away. Love to all! xoxo

Come listen to my poetry reading on Spotify!!!

My Christmas Spirit

My Christmas Spirit

Tender hearts swell with gratitude,
The season casts its festive mood.
Twilight twirls in fresh fallen snow
As Christmas lights twinkle and glow.

Cardinals cavort in branches bare,
Winter sun fades in crimson flair.
Your spirit calls when cold winds blow
As Christmas lights twinkle and glow.

Memories of you warm my soul,
Your absence left a gaping hole.
Tears and emotions ebb and flow
As Christmas lights twinkle and glow.

Tender hearts swell with gratitude
As Christmas lights twinkle and glow.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
December 31, 2021

Memories of Christmas past always come to mind as I am decorating for the Christmas holidays. This year, for the first time in 8 years, I decided to put up some of my Dickens villages. It always makes me think of my father, for some reason. He delighted in seeing the lighted houses when he visited our Florida home shortly before he was diagnosed with cancer in 2001. We had him around until February 2003, and then our whole world changed.

Not having Dad around, especially at the holidays, makes me a little melancholy at times. He is my own personal Christmas spirit that comforts me when I am feeling sad or unsettled. I know he’s watching down on everyone in our family, with a huge smile. I believe he’s proud of all of us, to see how our families have grown. I only wish my grandchildren could have met him. I miss you and love you, Dad.

I hope all of you had a wonderful 2021 and holiday season, despite all the turmoil, COVID, and heartbreak we have seen in this world. I wish you all peace, health and joy in 2022!

Love,
Colleen

Mood: Pensive
Inspiration: “In the Bleak Midwinter” by Ric Mills

Caged Bird

Caged Bird

When daylight turns to darkness
Gray clouds of despair take wing
Shrouded in fear and sorrow
The caged bird cannot sing.

Drained of joy and self-regard
Feeling beat down, chained, confined
One step forward, two steps back
Dark thoughts tumble through my mind.

Don’t use your words as weapons
You have no power over me
Don’t try to crush my spirit
This caged bird will be free.

An angel comes to visit
In the shadows of the night
Releasing guilt and bondage
And the caged bird takes flight.

Step out of the cold darkness
Spread your wings and soar so high
A slave no more, flying free
Like a diamond in the sky.

Don’t use your words as weapons
You have no power over me
Don’t try to crush my spirit
This caged bird is finally free.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
October 8, 2021

I wrote this poem for the Instagram group Her Growth Collective, @hergrowthcollective. I decided to combine the topics from the last two weeks – “Self-Regard” and “Guilt.” I had been working on this poem/song lyric for about a week. Tying in these prompts brought it all together.

Do you have low self-esteem or self-regard? Do you suffer from intense feelings of guilt?

I sure do! In fact, I think these two things tend to go hand-in-hand. I have a very bad habit of putting myself down, being hyper critical of myself or minimizing my thoughts and emotions. I can also remember always having this burning sense of guilt over something I did or did not do, even as a young child.

I am not sure if something happened in my childhood to cause this, perhaps being raised a strict Catholic and/or going to a Catholic school with nuns driving down this sense of guilt, shame and self-loathing. More likely it’s merely an inherited personality trait. These feelings intensified as I became an adult and multiplied exponentially once I became a mother. I think we all tend to put ourselves last, especially mothers. Self-care becomes an unreachable dream that we never seem to be able to achieve or make time for. It is always last on the to-do list.

Just one week ago, I left a job and organization which I truly loved after 8 years of dedication…. I will spare the details, but I had to make the choice to leave for personal reasons. It had simply become necessary for my survival. I finally had to put the oxygen mask on myself and practice self-care.  Not to sound dramatic, but I am still in the early stages of decompressing. A plethora of emotions are swirling inside me, but I am finally free of certain things that had become extremely unhealthy and toxic to me personally. I am breathing easier and taking time for myself without any fears. I know my own self-worth and nobody else dictates that. I know that I deserve this. No need to feel guilty for finally taking care of myself first.

We all deserve to live a life free of emotional bondage. If you are suffering from low self-esteem or guilt that you can pinpoint on one thing in your life, do yourself a favor. Be kind to yourself. Set yourself free.

Colleen M. Breuning © 2021
October 8, 2021

Mood: Calm, Introspective
Music Inspiration: Olafur Arnalds “Only the Winds”

Butterfly Piano

Butterfly Piano

Keys
caressed
by fingers
gently stroking
black and ivory
sweet music sets us free
crimson blood thrums in our veins
as intangible passions stir
on wings of enchanted butterfly
resonating in hollows of my heart
take me to this place of serenity
your wings cover mine, softly guide me
chills down my spine, the song begins
our spirits take flight at dusk
delicate pas de deux
as two souls entwine
eternally
let each note
light the
dark

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
September 14, 2021

Mood: Golden Butterflies by Ludovico Einaudi