Monthly Archives: February 2024

Just This Once

Just This Once

I hear the whistle of a distant train,
an echo at the end of a long day.
A light snow falls against the windowpane,
from dark mottled skies of purple and gray.

Upon the mantel sits a vintage vase,
wilted flowers filled with sorrow and rue.
My eyes blur, drawn into the torrid blaze,
my mind flooding with memories of you.

Just this once I let myself fall apart,
bracing against the treacherous weather.
Emotions unravel my battered heart,
Longing for just one more day together.

Your presence fills my soul with warmth and light,
and the pain fades into the depths of night.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2024
February 24, 2024

Happy Saturday! I hope you are having a nice weekend. We have no plans this weekend, except for chores and errands. And that’s just fine with me!

We got together with my family last Sunday to celebrate my nephew Gabe’s 14th birthday! I can’t believe how time flies. Seeing family is always a fun time, but afterwards my thoughts always turn to Dad. How I wish that he was still here, able to see his growing family and share in all the love. He has been gone for exactly 21 years now, and he is missed by all those who loved him.

I guess that is what this sonnet is about, missing a lost loved one, dealing with the pain and moving forward without them. It is tough at times. It’s not as difficult as in the early years, but there are still moments it hits me out of the blue. Something sparks a memory, or I see a picture…. I just let myself feel the emotions, fall apart, cry, pray, and then breathe deep. I hope that when you experience such a loss, that you can do the same. Find a way to release that emotion, don’t let it build up. Express yourself, hug someone, cry, journal, listen to music, call a friend or family member, get productive, exercise, clean, cook, whatever it takes to heal.

That’s all for now. Have a lovely weekend!

xoxo
Colleen

Mood: Pensive
Inspiration: “Experience” by my fav Ludovico Einaudi

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 34.15 – Just This Once
Hard Bonus: Include a vintage vase and dried flowers
Easy Bonus: Incorporate an echo

Snow Walk

Snow Walk

in
tandem
we walk through
crystal snow beds
the cold wind in throes
bitter air clears our heads
painting a flush on our cheeks
I bloom in shades of pink and red
coursing through my veins, the passion peaks
sun blazes high in cerulean skies
from here to there, pure love is everywhere
from deer footprints on the frozen lake
to birdsongs floating in the air
purple dusk begins to break
moon rising in the gloam
we make our way home
my heart is true
I vow to
stay with
you

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2024
February 15, 2024

Good morning and Happy Saturday! Today is the 21st Anniversary of my Dad’s passing. As I wrote in last week’s tribute, I am trying to focus on the positive and finding joy in memories of him, instead of being overcome with sorrow. I am grateful to have had such a wonderful father in my life!

This is just a little ditty that I have been adding to for the past few days. It was our 36th wedding anniversary on February 13, and of course Valentine’s Day this week. I had visions of hearts and flowers dancing in my head. But love doesn’t always mean flower arrangements and fancy gifts (though these are nice, don’t get me wrong lol). The most special thing we can do is be together, doing the simple things we love, such as taking a crisp walk around the lake on the day after a big snow.

That’s what this poem is about, as we did exactly that several weeks ago. We took a walk in the cold winter snow! It was so invigorating and comforting just being side by side, observing nature, appreciating the stark beauty of the season, the wildlife, watching the sun begin to set on a cold winter day. This is what brings me peace and joy (there is my 2024 word again)! I would venture a guess that if you tried to become more present in the moment, incorporate some space to just watch and appreciate nature and the world around you, your heart will fill with love. And you’ll find that peace and joy will follow.

So may we all take a walk in the snow (or sand, or mountains, or desert…) and find the key to happiness! Have a great, relaxing weekend, all!!

xoxo Colleen

Mood: Peaceful
Inspiration: ” By the Roes and By the Hands of the Field” ~ Johann Johannsson

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 33.15 – Love is Everywhere
Hard Bonus: Mention doing something in tandem (walking)
Easy Bonus: Reflect your mood in a color (pink, red)

Washed Out to Sea

Washed Out to Sea

I sit upon the craggy rocks
Fluffy white clouds float by in flocks
The past, a distant memory
As the tide washes out to sea.

My heart feels hollow, left behind
Tears of sorrow render me blind
Whispers to heaven, fervent plea
As the tide washes out to sea.

Take me with you, far and away
To golden fields and jasmine sway
Our haven for eternity
As the tide washes out to sea.

I sit upon the craggy rocks
As the tide washes out to sea.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2024
February 10, 2024

Hello everyone – hope you are having a great week! This was Writer’s Choice Week in Blogophilia, so I could write as my heart desired.

Next week marks the 21st Anniversary of my father’s passing; he died of lung cancer on February 17, 2003. This poem is dedicated to him. The pain of losing him will never, ever go away. Dad was a “gentle giant” and my protector. He was the strong and silent one who was always looking out for me during my life, even when I didn’t want him to. Everyone loved and gravitated to him, especially babies and children. He was an inspiration for all his five children, and countless grandchildren. I miss his comforting presence, his voice, his hugs, his sense of humor, his hearty laugh, his love for life. I even miss his funny, prolific sneezes (he could sneeze like 15 times in a row)! Dad was a great cook, a bird nerd and a music lover, which I believe all of us kids inherited from him. For some reason, the past few weeks I have found myself thinking of him at the end of the day and releasing a few tears. He died far too young at the age of 68, and we all wish we had more time with him.

That said, I am instead trying to focus on the beautiful memories and the blessings that I have received from Dad throughout my life, which are plentiful. Some of the best memories I have are just of BEING with him…. going to work at the rail yards, playing ball in the backyard, watching the fireworks from our playroom window, summer nights sitting on the front porch, listening to music, watching hockey, driving trips, rocking on hotel porch chairs simply watching and listening to the ocean… He may not have been perfect, as we are all flawed in some way, but he was the perfect Dad for me. I miss you and love you, Daddy!

May you all have a Happy Valentine’s Day – remember to cherish those you love, and always take the opportunity to show them and tell them how much you love them!!! ❤

xoxo,
Colleen

Mood: Sad
Inspiration: “Dear Father” by Neil Diamond – Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Dad’s favorite

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 32.15 – WRITER’S CHOICE – Washed Out
Hard Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – Include your favorite flower (jasmine)
Easy Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – Incorporate floating clouds

Secret Places of My Soul

Secret Places of My Soul

Deep in the dark is where I find
bad memories I left behind.
Trauma and sorrow took their toll
on secret places of my soul.

Lost and broken, my fall from grace
and I went down without a trace
into the abyss, black as coal,
to secret places of my soul.

From jagged steel clouds I found hope
that strengthened me and gave me hope.
I buried the past, became whole
from secret places of my soul.

Deep in the dark is where I find
the secret places of my soul.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2024
February 3, 2024

Happy Saturday, everyone! Well, I made it through the January 31 deadline, woo hoo! Plenty of long days, weekend work, overtime and stress are behind me. Tax season has hardly begun, but the worst is over for all of the paraprofessionals.

January was a long blur of a month. We didn’t get home from our Christmas in Florida until December 30, and I jumped immediately into working every day in January. Therefore, I left my Christmas decorations up the entire month for the first time in my life. It has been literally driving me crazy, but I’ve had to just put on blinders and not let it stress me out. Well, this is the weekend that I will finally “undecorate.” And what a shame, it is so beautiful outside but I’m stuck inside by choice this weekend to finally get the house back to normal. Wish me luck lol!

This poem is a Kyrielle sonnet with a twist. Typically the last line is repeated in all stanzas, except I broke the rules and changed the first word of the final stanza line. Haha, rebel without a cause, am I! It was inspired by Laura Branigan lyrics “deep in the dark.” We all experience pain or trauma of some degree in our lives, and the healing process is different for everyone. It can feel as though you are falling into an abyss, and you must find a way to pull yourself out of that dark hole. And only YOU can do it – you must change yourself, change your circumstances, change your way of thinking, or you must embrace a new way of living or coping. Healing comes from deep within, sometimes from secret places of the soul.

That’s all for this week. Have a beautiful weekend and stay warm!

Xoxo,
Colleen

Mood: Resilient
Inspiration: “On the Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 31.15 – The Lost City
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric by Laura Branigan (“deep in the dark” and “I went down without a trace”)
Easy Bonus: Include a secret place (my soul)