fear – Colleen Keller Breuning

Dragon Hunters

Dragon Hunters

Linen clouds drift by,
dragon hunters swift and spry,
morphing in the sky.

Fluffy figures fair
cast their magic everywhere,
marching through the air.

Let’s chase the gold sun
like china dolls on the run;
the hunt has begun.

Through marshes we wade,
hues of emerald and jade,
as pastel skies fade.

The darkness descends;
hidden deep inside the glen
is the dragon’s den.

Dragon roars echo
louder than the cackling crow,
amber eyes aglow.

Black velvet twilight,
creeping shivers in the night;
just hold my hand tight.

In our veins fear flows;
should we stay or should we go?
heaven only knows.

Nothing’s what it seems;
slay that dragon with moon beams,
wake up from your dreams.

Hatcher and Posie,
won’t you dragon hunt with me?
I miss you dearly….

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
February 4, 2023

I just loved the whimsical topic of Dragon Hunter this week. It inspired me to write a rhyming haiku series, not always easy to do with the syllable limits. It immediately took me back to my own childhood days of cloud gazing, and when I did the same with my own kids. What a magical thing it is! I still do it when I get a chance, but often it is when Dan is driving and we both notice the beautiful cloud shapes in the Virginia sky. I probably take as many cloud pictures as I do cat pictures – well, maybe not. Certainly not as many pictures I take of my grandchildren Posie and Hatcher, when I get the chance to be with them!

This week’s poem is dedicated to Posie and Hatcher. They are my heart’s delight, and Katie sends me photos daily of them. They are growing and changing each day. When we saw them in October and December, I gave Posie a bunch of Katie’s things that I had saved from when she was a child. There was one particular pale pink satin leotard and matching skirt that Katie wore nonstop – and Posie wore it to her gymnastic class and riding her scooter yesterday! You can’t imagine how deeply that touched my heart. And little Hatcher is growing and just got a big boy haircut – WOW, he looks even more handsome than before! I simply cannot wait to see them and play with them again. Grandchildren are so very special.

I hope you have a chance to breathe deep and cloud gaze this weekend. It is so relaxing to just watch the clouds drift by and morph into different shapes. It’s good for the soul, and it brings immediate serenity to me. Have a wonderful weekend, all!

XOXO

Colleen

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 31.14 Topic: Dragon Hunter
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric by The Clash (Should I stay or should I go)
Easy Bonus: Include your favorite childhood toy (doll)

Tide

Tide

I pray like falling rain and light
Hiding within shadows of night
Drowning in the shallows of pride
For I don’t want to fight this tide.

My veins pulse with a quiet dread
Clouds in my coffee and in my head
Unleashing all the tears I cried
For I don’t want to fight this tide.

High above, the sky is broken
So many words left unspoken
Release my fears, arms open wide
For I don’t want to fight this tide.

I pray like falling rain and light
For I don’t want to fight this tide.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
January 21, 2023

Hello, family and friends. Sorry I’ve been a bit MIA. I’ve been offline much of the week due to work. I’ve worked more overtime the past month since my days in the 80’s working at Arthur Andersen & Co during tax season. Of course, that was 40 years ago when I was in my 20’s…. Suffice it to say, I’m exhausted – because I am, well…. older! My life is: Drink coffee, work, eat, exercise, drink wine and sleep. And repeat. That’s about it lately!

I’ve been trying to stick with a healthy diet through all this, and that has been tough. I have managed to resist the sweet treats and temptations at work, and at home. However, tonight after my 6 mile run, my body was craving some comfort food. So I whipped up a quick meal of Boboli pizza crust, with sauce, parmesan, mozzarella, freshly cut basil, green/red/yellow peppers and seasoning. Yum, and Dan was happy about that too! A guilty pleasure that was, but I think my body just needed some carbohydrates, even if they were not good ones. You just need to give yourself a break after eating oatmeal, salads and soup every day, ya know?

It was really nice this evening to exercise the right side of my brain with a poem. It was a stress buster. There actually haven’t been clouds in my coffee, there are NUMBERS in my coffee LOL!!!! I dream about processing 1099s, W-2s, 941s and running my 10 key calculator. I still have one, and yes, I tape footed numbers to my workpapers just like back in the 80’s. That’s how I roll. My eyes can’t take reconciling bank statements from a PDF online. I have to print them and tick off transactions. Yeah, I am old school.

Well, that’s all I got. Only 10 more days until January ends, then the overtime will ease a bit. I can do it! Have a great weekend.
xoxo Colleen

Mood: Exhausted
Inspiration: “The Sky is Broken” by Moby

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 29.14 Topic: Clouds in My Coffee
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric by Moby (“I pray like falling rain and light;” I don’t want to fight this tide;” “the sky is broken.”)
Easy Bonus: Include carbohydrates

Spirit of the Forest

Spirit of the Forest

Far above the towering redwoods
Where the lone bald eagle flies,
Steely clouds conspire and gather
To break in alabaster skies.

Monsoon descends upon green woods,
Crystal raindrops mingle with tears.
Shadows creep within the forest,
Stirring up my deepest fears.

A life of suffering and sins,
I hear your cry upon the winds.
If only I could stop the rain,
If only I could ease your pain.

Standing firm in distorted thoughts,
Unwillingness to sacrifice.
Tempting fate until the end,
You made your choice and paid the price.

Thunder crashes across the valley,
Walls of rocks are tumbling down.
They seek revenge, restless natives,
As your spirit walks these forest grounds.

A life of suffering and sins,
I hear your cry upon the winds.
If only I could stop the rain,
If only I could ease your pain.

Would you spend each day as if it were your last one?
Would you ride a white horse into the setting sun?
Would you change your mind if you had a second chance?
Would you dare to leave your fate to circumstance?

A life of suffering and sins,
I hear your cry upon the winds.
If only I could stop the rain,
If only I could ease your pain.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
June 11, 2022

Inspiration: Moby “Lie Down in Darkness”
Mood: Pensive

Momentum

Momentum

Fear pulls me downward
sinister thoughts creeping
in corners of my dark mind
gripping tight, talons sharp
as I bleed from the inside out
and rail to the heavens in rage
from the depths of an anguished soul.

Passion pushes me onward
parting a veil of diaphanous desire
satin hush, silken touch
the scent and taste of love
as the glorious sun glows
in effervescent rainbows
shining the light on my path.

Hope coaxes me upward
picking up the broken pieces
scattered amongst wayward leaves
a cool breeze permeates my skin
its soft kiss upon my cheek
determination coursing through my veins
as I break through the force field again.

Momentum carries me forward
out of a forlorn past
through hot burning coals
blistered feet, hot searing pain
leading to a tropical oasis
where I can frolic in the green
cool raindrops upon my tongue.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
November 8, 2021

This post was written for the Instagram group Her Growth Collective @hergrowthcollective. The topic for the week for 11/11/2021 is “Momentum.”

Momentum is defined as the strength or force that something has when it is moving. It is also the strength or force that allows something to continue or to grow stronger or faster as time passes. I believe that the momentum in our lives can be generated both internally and externally. Sometimes we have the energy, desire and impetus to make positive changes in our lives. Other times, we simply roll with the waves and are forced to change, lest we sink and drown.

For me, many things have affected my life’s momentum. Fear, passion and hope are recurring themes that have carried me through and allowed me to change the direction of my life. Reflecting on this topic helped me to write my poem “Momentum” on the plane ride back home from my son’s wedding. Life is good, keep the momentum going!

xoxo Colleen

Mood: Reflective
Inspiration: “Push the Sky Away” by Nick Cave

Courage… or Something Like It

Courage… or Something Like It

Fading to white noise, sense of dread
Questions ramble inside my head
Counting down the minutes and years…
Plagued with anxiety and fear.

Search for meaning, nothing to see
Lost bearings on a churning sea
Swallow pride along with my tears…
Plagued with anxiety and fear.

Gold liquid courage fills my cup
Tilt my chin back and drink it up
Time of reckoning has drawn near…
Plagued with anxiety and fear.

Fading to white noise, sense of dread…
Plagued with anxiety and fear.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
September 14, 2021

This post was written for the group Her Growth Collective. The topic was “Courage,” and the challenge went up the second week of September. I wrote it on the plane ride back from Florida over 2 weeks ago, but I never got an opportunity to post it due to wrapping up my final weeks on the job.

It is hard to have courage when faced with adversity, or when it’s time to change your course in life. When I am searching for courage in my life, when my anxieties are overwhelming, or in difficult times, the Serenity Prayer has served me well and calmed me. I have found that in the silence in between is where the answers lie. xo Colleen

Mood: The Silence In Between by Lamb

Ode to Dark Times

Ode to Dark Times

Broken black clouds taunt overhead,
Filling up hearts with sense of dread.
Cold rain tumbles relentlessly;
The future is too dark to see.

Don’t harbor truth with alibis,
Dark stains bruising blue crystal skies.
Ominous signs of travesty;
The future is too dark to see.

Sinking down deep into quicksand
To hide the blood upon your hands.
Overwhelmed by this tragedy;
The future is too dark to see.

Broken black clouds taunt overhead;
The future is too dark to see.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
September 13, 2021

We are living in dark times. Sometimes watching the news can just be too overwhelming. Take a break and do something for yourself. Watch a sunset, feed the birds, take a hike in nature…. heal your soul! xoxo Colleen

This poem was written for the Instagram group @hergrowthcollective. The topic last week was “Overwhelmed.” I am a week behind because of our trip to Florida.

Beast of Burden

Beast of Burden

I’m facing dark clouds tomorrow
Soul weighed down by pain and sorrow
Western wind is blowing colder
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

Off the rails, rogue brain is chasing
Daunting demons I am facing
Fear etched face, I’m feeling older
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

My heart pounds wildly on the edge
Teetering on unstable ledge
Cast away the heavy boulder
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

I’m facing dark clouds tomorrow
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
July 30, 2021

When you pray to God for a sign, and He’s been throwing all kinds of hints at you for a very long time to make a decision…. and you finally, finally, finally listen. Thank you, God.

Touch the Alabaster Skies

Touch the Alabaster Skies

A distant future waits for me
Beyond the black, turbulent sea
My hopes and fears to be reckoned,
Multiplying by the second.

Clouds break above the bare oak trees;
A distant future waits for me.
Dark thoughts pile in as wave crash down.
Limbs flail as I begin to drown.

I hear the mourning dove’s sad cries
and touch the alabaster skies.
A distant future waits for me;
I cast aside bad memories.

The golden moment has arrived,
Realizing faith and love thrived.
Running wild, feeling oh so free,
A distant future waits for me.

Colleen Keller Breuning @ 2021
January 1, 2021

A quatern for the New Year…. It is time to cast aside our bad memories and experiences of 2020 and have a positive outlook on 2021. I have been pondering 2020, and though it was a challenging year, there were some blessings. (The biggest one for me was the birth of my granddaughter, Posie, of course!) And now a brand new year awaits us like a clean slate, with the opportunity to create love and peace in our own lives. I hope everyone has a Happy and Healthy 2021! xoxo ❤

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 43.13 Topic: A Distant Future
Hard Bonus (2 points): Incorporate a lyric by JJ Grey (“Dark thoughts pile in;” “The golden moment has arrived;” and “Running wild, feeling oh so free”)
Easy Bonus (1 Point): Include a math term or equation (multiply)

SECRET BONUS GUESSES:

1.  Space Oddity
2.  Astronaut Girl
3.  Moonwalk
4.  Space, the final frontier
5.  Star Trek
6.  Life on Mars
7.  Star Wars
8.  Red Planet
9.  Moon rocks
10. Man on the moon

Topic: Dave Coon Pic: Christine

The Autumn Storm

The Autumn Storm

Outside the rain clattered,
pounding on my windowpane
as the autumn winds rumbled,
thrashing like a hurricane.

Dread ran deep in the black night,
sharp lightning cut the skies.
Sparking bolts struck the ground,
impervious to my fervent cries.

Hours dragged on in turmoil
until the storm came undone.
Its last chords, a final sonata
in deference to the morning sun.

A prism shone through the clouds,
rich rainbow colors peeking through.
Leaves were scattered on the ground,
jewel tone reflections in the dew.

Crisp periwinkle skies beckoned
as tree limbs stretched, cold and bare.
Blue jays frolicked in the woods,
the scent of hope rising in the air.

Though storms of life may come and go,
I realize how simple it could be
to breathe deep and release my fears,
allowing serenity to wash over me.

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 36.13 Topic: The Final Sonata
Hard Bonus (2 points): Incorporate a quote by Laurie Colwin (“Outside the rain clattered,” “How simple it could be”)
Easy Bonus (1 Point): Include a prism in your blog

SECRET PHRASE GUESSES:

1.    Moonlight sonata
2.   Luna
3.   Blood moon
4.   Man on the moon
5.   Purple haze
6.   Pink moon
7.   Full Moon Madness
8.   Dancing in the Moonlight
9.   Moondance
10. Bad Moon Rising

Topic:  Lissa    Pic:  Christine

Cloud Hopper

Cloud Hopper

The skies gleamed with crystal blue persuasion, beckoning me to the water’s edge. I stared in wonder as the seagulls frolicked and dipped into the sea. Wispy cirrus clouds floated by at a leisurely pace, and I longed to touch them. A slight breeze stirred, and the crash of the breakers called to me. I couldn’t have asked for a more picture perfect beach day.

This is exactly what my soul needed. The anxieties of life had worn me down, my nerves were frazzled and sleep eluded me. I was in search of peace. God knows I would have been content to just lie in the sand, toasting my skin to a golden brown. A rum flavored cocktail topped with an umbrella is all I really wanted. That, and perhaps a good book to immerse myself in.

But my friends were insistent. It would be the experience of a lifetime, they said. Life’s too short. Go big or go home. Don’t be a wuss…

So I swallowed my apprehension. I gave in to the pressure.

As I stepped tentatively onto the stern of the idling charter boat, my eyes were drawn to the name hand painted on its hull. The Whatchamacallit. Not a very reassuring name for a sea worthy vessel. The wind began to pick up, and the boat responded, bobbing back and forth beneath my Skechers. My heart beat furiously, and pit of my stomach burned. I wasn’t sure if this was excitement, fear… or a little of both.

The boat captain smiled broadly, thrust a life vest into my hands, then buckled me into a harness. I held on for dear life, gripping the leather straps. Returning to the midsection of the craft, he gunned the motor and ventured forward at a slow clip toward the western horizon. As the rushing wind gathered beneath the colorful parasail, it puffed up like a curtain blowing in the window. The tow rope grew longer, and my body was lifted like a balloon, high above the aqua sea.

The balmy breeze kissed my cheeks as I skimmed weightlessly across the fields of blue. My chest filled with euphoria, adrenaline pumped through my blood. I let out a squeal. So this is how it feels to be a bird! I reached out my hands to touch the soft cotton clouds, hopping from one to the next. The people on the beach below me looked like ants, and I waved to them from my perch.

Pure joy coursed through my veins. I was so lost in the delights of flying that I didn’t hear the snap. A sharp jolt, and suddenly I was adrift, scaling to new heights. Then as the parasail lost momentum, I plummeted feet first toward the sea. Terror seized my heart.

I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. My body hit the surface with a loud slap, and plunged underwater violently. The impact rattled my bones, the sound shattering my eardrums. Dead silence. Everything faded to black before my wide open eyes.

Floating, the undercurrents pushed me down. A brilliant white light beckoned in the distance of the ocean depths. I swam toward it, my limbs gliding effortlessly beneath the frigid water. Never before had I held my breath this long. Oddly, my lungs now were one with the sea.

In time, I rose up beyond the confines of my watery grave to the sanctity of the cottony clouds. I watched as my loved ones built a memorial on the beach. Saw them wipe the tears away, then drive off to laughter-filled gatherings. But time marches on, and misfortune tests the sincerity of friends. They eventually stopped coming to pay tribute and moved on with their lives. They forgot about me.

But up here, I am never alone. At night, I am cocooned in the warm arms of the maternal clouds. When daybreak spills across the crystal blue skies, my heart soars. I ruffle my feathers, spread my wings and join in with the seagulls, dipping down toward the sea.

Peace, at last…