Tag Archives: depression

Nature’s Calm

Nature’s Calm

Rain
brewing
in dark clouds
feeling washed up
and hung out to dry
doubt pulses through my veins
feeling sorry for myself
pondering my mere existence
all mistakes and regrets amplified
thundering loudly in my addled brain
wallowing and pathetic in my pain
I step outside and take a deep breath
inhaling sweet scent of wet grass
letting the rain soak my skin
doubling down on courage
I pick myself up
and let nature
instill deep
sense of
calm

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
May 6, 2023

Mood: Cloudy and Unsettled
Inspiration: Native American Flutes & Nature Sounds

Hello, all. It’s amazing how nature can instill a sense of calm when you are feeling down. We all have those days where we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. We wouldn’t be human if we did not. So what to do? For me, it is to get out of my head and into nature.

I was feeling extremely out of sorts this week, like wet laundry hung out to dry. (Excuse the punny simile).  I almost did NOT go out for a run on Wednesday evening. I was making so many excuses: it’s too cold, it’s windy, I’ve got too much work to do, I’m tired, etc. etc. However, I forced myself to because I was feeling down and being hard on myself. I just knew in my heart that a run would make me feel better. But I went through the motions, put on those running shoes and bundled up, even though it was looking like rain. What was the worst that could happen? Getting on rained on during a run? No biggie, I actually find it much more refreshing running in a light rain than running in hot weather. Having a thunderstorm kick up? Well, that has happened to me as well. Not a problem, the running trail is only 1 mile around the lake and a quick sprint via shortcut to the safety of my house.

I’m happy to report that nothing stopped me, not the wind, cold or the cloudy skies.  In fact, I was so much better for forcing myself to do something I didn’t think I wanted to do – but desperately needed to do. While out there on the trail, I saw some amazing sights of nature. Herds of deer pausing to look at me as I ran quietly by. A green heron stalking prey. Flocks of swallows circling the lake in search of insects. A beautiful sunset peeking out beyond the billowing rain clouds. And it did sprinkle on me during my last lap of the trail, but it was light and invigorating. I felt so much calmer for getting out of the clamor of my negative thoughts. Thank you, Nature. I love you.

I hope you will remember to step out into nature whenever you’re down (even if it is just on your patio or porch). It’s a natural prescription, a refreshing margarita, or a depression remedy for those days when you are feeling blue. I hope you have a lovely weekend! Love you all!

xoxo Colleen

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 44.14 Topic: Hung Out to Dry
Hard Bonus: Include a double down
Easy Bonus: Drink a margarita

Perfectly Flawed

Perfectly Flawed

Paper thin
pale porcelain skin
aching bones upon the wake.

Sullen dawn
a hole in the clouds
and I’m thinking I might break.

Dark sky bursts
rain pelting, melting
glacial heart that never thawed.

Fragile soul
bleeding wounds that healed
and I am perfectly flawed.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
July 30, 2022

Mood: Grateful
Inspiration: “Porcelain” by Moby (my ringtone)

Broken Clouds

Broken Clouds

Ashen gray clouds
hang low to the ground
a thick layer of fog
rising like dense smoke
infusing the atmosphere
with its petulant moods.

All I see is alabaster sky.
The moon has gone missing,
the sun hidden in a sempiternal stretch
of colorless stratus, dull like
a bolt of sparkly silver tulle
that has lost its shine.

And I am walking on broken clouds,
knee deep in ambivalence,
rain falling beneath my sodden feet
to the barren earth far below me.

And I thought I heard
the ocean siren call to me,
with her song of hollow promises
echoing against the crash of waves.

The seas have eluded me.
The skies have betrayed me.
The sun has ignored me.
The moon has shunned me.
The clouds have denounced me.

Where do I go now in this netherworld,
in this endless purgatory?
As twilight beckons, shades of indigo
dissipate the broken clouds.

The crescent moon glides by
with a shy smile and thin hopes,
as a vagabond wind transports me home,
an escalator to waiting distant stars.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
January 13, 2022

This idea for this poem was sparked in the Atlanta airport on a recent trip to Florida. As we were walking through the terminal to make our connection, the current weather board sign caught my eye. It simply stated, “Broken Clouds,” and I immediately knew I would write about it. It stuck with me as I scribble scrabbled some words, listening to mood music on our final flight to Florida. It was very cloudy, foggy with a bit of rain and yes…. broken clouds everywhere.

Then this stayed dormant in my notebook due to work commitments, until I finalized it last night. It morphed into this mood piece, after two rainy, gloomy winter days of editing.

Funny how the writing process can be. It’s been a while since I wrote consistently due to travel, holidays and work. I feel out of practice and intend to get back into my weekly writing routine. It is a form of therapy, and I sure do miss it when I can’t find the time to write! Stay warm, everyone.

xoxo
Colleen

Mood: Cloudy
Inspiration: “River of Rain” by Jami Sieber

Beast of Burden

Beast of Burden

I’m facing dark clouds tomorrow
Soul weighed down by pain and sorrow
Western wind is blowing colder
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

Off the rails, rogue brain is chasing
Daunting demons I am facing
Fear etched face, I’m feeling older
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

My heart pounds wildly on the edge
Teetering on unstable ledge
Cast away the heavy boulder
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

I’m facing dark clouds tomorrow
Beast of burden on my shoulder.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
July 30, 2021

When you pray to God for a sign, and He’s been throwing all kinds of hints at you for a very long time to make a decision…. and you finally, finally, finally listen. Thank you, God.

Summer Storms

Summer Storms

Summer storms are coming,
I can feel them in my heart.
Hope melting in extreme heat
as the sky is torn apart.

Thunder rolls in deep and fast,
raindrops pelt my windowpane.
Lone raven struggles in the wind
and I’m channeling his pain.

Standing in the pouring rain,
crying out, what am I doing here?
Wash my sorrows into the ground,
dissolve my sins and tears.

Rising high above the stormy din
a distant voice is calling, calling.
But I don’t need a shallow hero
to catch me when I’m falling, falling.

Tell the truth, you never wanted me,
these ugly lies will shade your soul.
Once caught in your world of deceit,
but release will make me whole.

Did you ever think about the cost,
Or realize all that you lost?
Do you care, or do you even see?
Do you know what you’ve done to me?

Standing in the pouring rain
crying out, what am I doing here?
Wash my sorrows into the ground,
dissolve my sins and tears.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
July 17, 2021

This is what happens on a stormy Saturday night when you’re listening to a playlist of mood music by Moby, Billie Eilish and other assorted artists and you decide to write a poem…. 😉

Sketches of Pain

Sketches of Pain

Dark clouds threaten, sky splits apart
Flooding emotions, bleeding hearts
Ugly secrets, women in chains
Broken spirits praying for rain.

Flash of lightning, crash of thunder
Last shred of faith torn asunder
Haunting whistle of distant train
Broken spirits praying for rain.

But something changes in the air
Hope cuts through layers of despair
Fingers tracing sketches of pain
Broken spirits praying for rain.

Dark clouds threaten, sky splits apart
Broken spirits praying for rain.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
June 4, 2021

Mood: I Believe…. Tears for Fears. As you know, I am definitely inspired by anything in a writing challenge that calls for song titles or lyrics. And I do love Tears for Fears! ❤

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 12.14 Topic: Something in the Air
Hard Bonus (2 points): Incorporate a song title by the group Tears for Fears (Secrets, Woman in Chains, Broken, Sketches of Pain, Change)
Easy Bonus (1 Point): Use the word “asunder”

This week’s pic

SECRET BONUS PHRASES:

  1. Misty Mountain Hop
  2. Waterfront View
  3. Patio
  4. Vacation Dream
  5. Villa Terrace
  6. Room with a View
  7. Across the sea
  8. Rock Me
  9. Climbing Bougainvillea
  10. Mediterranean Sea

Topic:  Christine    Pic:  Irene

In the Shallows

In the Shallows

No
promise
is ever
unbreakable
hollow words echoed
cutting deep as a knife
I struggled against darkness
haunting voices of the afreet
inner demons taunting, pushing me
beyond the rocky shore, torn and tattered
I was drowning in the shallows of life
angry clouds parted as the storm ebbed
on my knees, I crawled to the light
spilling warmth on my cold skin
your spirit touching mine
I had found new faith
you healed my heart
held me safe
in your
arms

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
May 21, 2021

Inspired once again by Moby ~ “The Sky is Broken”

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 10.14 Topic: No Promises
Hard Bonus (2 points): Quote Denzel Washington (“I had faith.”)
Easy Bonus (1 Point): Use the word “afreet” (Per Merriam-Webster: a powerful evil jinni, demon, or monstrous giant in Arabic mythology)

This week’s cute pic

Secret Bonus Guesses:

  1. Pied Piper
  2. Kitten/cat charmer
  3. Stray cat strut
  4. Flute player
  5. Childhood buddies
  6. Street music
  7. Serenade on the stoop
  8. Singing for your supper
  9. Music to my ears
  10. Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle

Topic: Irene   Pic:  Lika 

Downstream

Downstream

down by the water
I ponder meaning of life
lay my burden down

blue trail of sorrow
heart drops like a sinking stone
clear to the bottom

gravity defied
as I float downstream
in gentle river

washed ashore, breathless,
hands reach out in grateful skies
as a new dawn breaks

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
May 14, 2021

“Rushing” by Moby

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 9.14 Topic: By the Water
Hard Bonus (2 points):  Include the meaning of life 
Easy Bonus (1 Point): Use the title of a song by Alison Krauss (“Lay My Burden Down,” “Blue Trail of Sorrow,” “Sinking Stone, “Gravity” and “Gentle River”)

This week’s pic

SECRET BONUS GUESSES:

  1. Down by the Water (in blog)
  2. Gentle River (in blog)
  3. Float Downstream (in blog)
  4. Slow Boat to China
  5. Paddle board
  6. Fisherman
  7. Gone Fishing
  8. Fishing Pole
  9. Fishing Hole
  10. Sail Away

Topic:  Christopher  Pic:  Stormy

Paper Cranes

Paper Cranes

Hope trickles down in purple rain 
As I wait for the morning light
Amidst one thousand paper cranes.

Anxiety flows through my veins,
Cries of anguish deep in the night.
Hope trickles down in purple rain.

The robins sing in sweet refrain,
Welcoming the sun with delight
Amidst one thousand paper cranes.

Bury my fears, bury my pain, 
Spilling tears and ink as I write.
Hope trickles down in purple rain.

Breaking free from these heavy chains,
I am a lone dove taking flight
Amidst one thousand paper cranes.

Simple words can never explain
Depression’s devastating plight.
Hope trickles down in purple rain 
Amidst one thousand paper cranes.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
March 26, 2021

I was going to write a light-hearted ditty about bears having a picnic in the forest, but I just couldn’t make it work within the confines of this week’s Blogophilia prompts. The Prince lyrics and the paper cranes steered me to write this villanelle, a poetry format I have not written in a while. It was fun, like putting a word puzzle together. I love that kind of challenge!

One of my favorite fairy tales was the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. It brings back wonderful childhood memories of Mom reading us bedtime stories from an old book.  I just purchased an enchanting book for Posie that also features this illustrated story.  I can’t wait to give it to her and better yet, read it to her!

The paper cranes/purple rain image above was created by me…using commons pics from Pixabay.

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 2.14 Topic: The Three Bears
Hard Bonus (2 points):  Use a lyric from a Prince song (“purple rain” from Purple Rain; “I am a dove” from I Would Die 4 U) 
Easy Bonus (1 Point): Mention “paper cranes”

This Week’s Pic

SECRET PHRASE GUESSES:

  1. Fairy tales (in blog)
  2. Goldilocks & the Three Bears (in blog)
  3. Wonderful childhood memories (in blog)
  4. Bedtime stories (in blog)
  5. Childhood imagination
  6. Shadow dancing
  7. Childhood dreams
  8. Dreamland
  9. Read me a story, Mommy!
  10. Alone in my room

Topic:  Leta    Picture:  Stormy

Darkness Turns to Dust

Darkness Turns to Dust

I feel the chill of winter blow
As clouds of blasphemy rain low.
Strong beams of steel dissolve to rust
Whenever darkness turns to dust.

The wheels fly off, dark skies portend
The world’s going off the deep end.
Into the realm of lies we’re thrust
Whenever darkness turns to dust.

Feels like I’m circling the drain
In this cruel world of hate and pain.
Unsure of whom or what to trust
Whenever darkness turns to dust.

I feel the chill of winter blow
Whenever darkness turns to dust.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2020
November 6, 2020

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 35.13 Topic: Off the Deep End 
Hard Bonus (2 points): Use a song lyric from singer Post Malone 
Easy Bonus (1 Point): Include the word “blasphemy”

Post Malone lyrics used:  “Darkness turns to dust,” and “Feels like I’m circling the drain.”

This week’s pic – would love to be there right about now….

SECRET BONUS GUESSES:

1.  Lakeside
2.  Sitting by the dock of the bay
3.  Lake Tahoe
4.  Blue water
5.  Crystal Blue Persuasion
6.  Red Red Wine
7.  Somewhere in Paradise
8.  Raspberry Tea
9.  Mountain View
10.  Serenity

Topic:  Tyler   Pic:  Christine