Tag Archives: trauma

Shades of Blue and Black

Shades of Blue and Black

Twilight descends in moonlit skies,
red sun fading before my eyes.
Sad memories come flooding back
in mottled shades of blue and black.

Hurtful words dredging up my fears
I bury the pain, hide the tears.
Bruised and broken, panic attack
with mottled shades of blue and black.

But time is a balm, healing starts
in vernal wellsprings of my heart.
Deep wounds are healing, turning back
to mottled shades of blue and black.

Twilight descends in starlit skies
of mottled shades of blue and black.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2024
May 11, 2024

Happy Early Mother’s Day! I hope each of you gets a chance to celebrate your Mom, I am very blessed to have my Mom still with us. We didn’t make any formal plans for a Mother’s Day celebration, but my sister and I decided last minute to coordinate times of our visit to her house tomorrow. We will bring salad, cupcakes and order pizza for linner (late lunch/early dinner).

Since it was Writer’s Choice Week, I just did this off the top of my head this morning. The phrase “vernal wellsprings of my heart” just popped into my head a few weeks ago and fortunately, I actually wrote it down. (Need to do that more often, but often get distracted and forget!) I stumbled on the line this morning and decided to build a Kyrielle Sonnet around that (with a slight tweak to the beginning word of the refraining line, haha!). This sonnet just sort of reflects the rainy and dreary weather of late,  and also speaks to the effect PTSD that can happen in life. I think many of us have endured some type of trauma(s) at some point in our lives. Those who know me well, know I’ve been through some traumas in my life that I thought I’d never overcome, but struggled through.  Even though one survives it, sometimes certain memories are randomly triggered. It creeps back in and can haunt you. Add that on top of anxiety, and voila! You have a recipe for panic attacks. Writing, music and family/friends’ support has been a godsend in helping me heal and thrive. So if you are part of my inner circle who knows what I’m talking about … know that I am blessed, forever grateful you’re in my life, and that I love you so much!

Have a great weekend, and Happy Mother’s Day to all!

Xoxo,
Colleen

Mood: Anxious
Inspiration: “Sotto Falso Nome” by Ludovico Einaudi

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 45.15 – WRITER’S CHOICE – Shades of Blue and Black
Hard Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – Incorporate moonlit skies
Easy Bonus: WRITER’S CHOICE – Use the word “vernal”

Secret Places of My Soul

Secret Places of My Soul

Deep in the dark is where I find
bad memories I left behind.
Trauma and sorrow took their toll
on secret places of my soul.

Lost and broken, my fall from grace
and I went down without a trace
into the abyss, black as coal,
to secret places of my soul.

From jagged steel clouds I found hope
that strengthened me and gave me hope.
I buried the past, became whole
from secret places of my soul.

Deep in the dark is where I find
the secret places of my soul.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2024
February 3, 2024

Happy Saturday, everyone! Well, I made it through the January 31 deadline, woo hoo! Plenty of long days, weekend work, overtime and stress are behind me. Tax season has hardly begun, but the worst is over for all of the paraprofessionals.

January was a long blur of a month. We didn’t get home from our Christmas in Florida until December 30, and I jumped immediately into working every day in January. Therefore, I left my Christmas decorations up the entire month for the first time in my life. It has been literally driving me crazy, but I’ve had to just put on blinders and not let it stress me out. Well, this is the weekend that I will finally “undecorate.” And what a shame, it is so beautiful outside but I’m stuck inside by choice this weekend to finally get the house back to normal. Wish me luck lol!

This poem is a Kyrielle sonnet with a twist. Typically the last line is repeated in all stanzas, except I broke the rules and changed the first word of the final stanza line. Haha, rebel without a cause, am I! It was inspired by Laura Branigan lyrics “deep in the dark.” We all experience pain or trauma of some degree in our lives, and the healing process is different for everyone. It can feel as though you are falling into an abyss, and you must find a way to pull yourself out of that dark hole. And only YOU can do it – you must change yourself, change your circumstances, change your way of thinking, or you must embrace a new way of living or coping. Healing comes from deep within, sometimes from secret places of the soul.

That’s all for this week. Have a beautiful weekend and stay warm!

Xoxo,
Colleen

Mood: Resilient
Inspiration: “On the Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 31.15 – The Lost City
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric by Laura Branigan (“deep in the dark” and “I went down without a trace”)
Easy Bonus: Include a secret place (my soul)