Courage… or Something Like It

Courage… or Something Like It

Fading to white noise, sense of dread
Questions ramble inside my head
Counting down the minutes and years…
Plagued with anxiety and fear.

Search for meaning, nothing to see
Lost bearings on a churning sea
Swallow pride along with my tears…
Plagued with anxiety and fear.

Gold liquid courage fills my cup
Tilt my chin back and drink it up
Time of reckoning has drawn near…
Plagued with anxiety and fear.

Fading to white noise, sense of dread…
Plagued with anxiety and fear.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
September 14, 2021

This post was written for the group Her Growth Collective. The topic was “Courage,” and the challenge went up the second week of September. I wrote it on the plane ride back from Florida over 2 weeks ago, but I never got an opportunity to post it due to wrapping up my final weeks on the job.

It is hard to have courage when faced with adversity, or when it’s time to change your course in life. When I am searching for courage in my life, when my anxieties are overwhelming, or in difficult times, the Serenity Prayer has served me well and calmed me. I have found that in the silence in between is where the answers lie. xo Colleen

Mood: The Silence In Between by Lamb

Productivity

Productivity

Monday mornings come with a tinge of blues.
I rise at dawn and punch the clock for years,
Achieving all my goals, paying my dues…
Blazing the trail with my blood, sweat and tears.

A hamster wheel of productivity,
Pangs of guilt for every wasted minute,
Breeding anger and negativity….
You can’t see the damage while you’re in it.

A breaking point, difficult decision,
Calm descends after winds of change have blown.
Breathing fresh air with a clearer vision…
Reclaiming my life to shape as my own.

Deep inside my soul, I’m feeling sated…
Productivity is overrated.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
September 3, 2021

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I’m writing for the first time for Her Growth Collective, a group of women encouraging others to walk the path of self-development together. You can find them on Instagram, @hergrowthcollective.

I have a different take on productivity lately. Sometimes productivity is a double-edged sword. I have been a motivated and productive person for my entire life, but in the past years my plate has been piled on to the point of burnout. Consistent productivity is met with yet even more work, because you have proven time and again that you can handle virtually every task. Unrealistic expectations ensue, and you are left frantically juggling an unmanageable workload despite voicing your concerns. Eventually one of the balls may drop, resulting in negativity, criticism and being/feeling devalued. 

When one is penalized for their productivity in this manner, it cuts you to the core and forces you to re-evaluate your situation and make changes. At times, productivity is overrated.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021