gray – Colleen Keller Breuning

Astray

Astray

Bitter winds rustle through the trees,
a longing starts deep within me
for light that breaks the darkest days.
The autumn sun has gone astray.

I want the gold dust from your eyes
to warm my bones in turquoise skies.
Birdsong chittering in the fray,
the autumn sun has gone astray.

There’s no more wishes in the well,
no hidden secrets left to tell.
I shiver in the cold and gray.
The autumn sun has gone astray.

Bitter winds rustle through the trees;
the autumn sun has gone astray.

Colleen Keller Breuning
October 7, 2023

Happy Saturday, friends and family! It’s hard to believe October is here. I am being sincere when I say that I am very happy the temperatures are finally cooling down. It is starting to feel and look like autumn in Northern Virginia.

Not much happening here this week. We have a weekend with absolutely no plans, which is nice. I will catch up on some things around the house and plan on having a pot roast in the crockpot tomorrow. I need to try and get some weed pulling done after the rain stops, and hopefully I will get in a run by the lake later this afternoon.

I am excited that I’ll be flying down to Panama City later this month to spend Halloween with my little nuggets Posie and Hatcher! One night after a FaceTime session with them, I was feeling pretty down. Dan suggested I take an extended weekend by myself to go see them. My workload is lighter by end of October, and he has a big project wrapping up late October. I am so excited, as I have only seen them once so far this year (June). We do plan on driving down to spend Christmas with the grandkids and also to visit Vince and Natalie. The nice thing about that is we can time it to our schedules and avoid the horrendous airline shutdown fiasco that happened last holiday season. Our only downsides are dealing with potential bad weather and the prospect of gas prices rising even higher.

Have a lovely weekend, and enjoy life to the fullest! ❤
Xoxo Colleen

Mood: Chilly
Inspiration: “Oltremare” by Ludovico Einaudi

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 14.15 – I Was Being Sincere
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric from Echo and The Bunnymen (“light that breaks the darkest days,” “I want the gold dust,” “there’s no more wishes in the well”)
Easy Bonus: Mention the word “chittering”(twitter, chirp, chatter)

Withered Sunflowers

Withered Sunflowers

Smoke and flames frame the horizon;
Red blood runs cold, hope forsaking.
Distant gunshots are growing closer,
And the sinister skies are breaking.

Families torn, they flee the border,
Clutching withered sunflowers in hand.
A demented monster unleashes terror,
And destruction spills across the land.

The rain beats down upon my window
On this endless and forlorn day.
I crave your touch to soothe my soul,
For you are light and I am gray.

Mortar descends along with madness
As tears blur the television screen.
Dire horrors of war are omnipresent,
Like nothing that we have ever seen.

We are sinking deep in desperation,
A flood of fear pushing all hope aside.
Fighting strong waves of desolation
Humanity swims against time and tide.

The rain beats down upon my window
On this endless and forlorn day.
I crave your touch to soothe my soul,
For you are light and I am gray.

I reach for you, my hand outstretched.
In suspended animation, it lingers.
Your warmth ignites the fires within me,
White light scattering through my fingers.

Hold me tight against the raging storm,
As withered sunflowers come undone.
Clasp your weathered hands in mine,
Together we will pray for peace to come.

The rain beats down upon my window
On this endless and forlorn day.
I crave your touch to soothe my soul,
For you are light and I am gray.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
March 12, 2022

I wrote this poem two weeks ago and have not looked at it since. For some reason, I did not have the energy or the impetus to publish it. My heart is absolutely shattered to watch the heartless invasion of Ukraine…. to see families torn apart, men staying behind to fight, and for what?? No provocation, just the sick, demented desires of one depraved monster to rebuild a Soviet Union that can never be again! It’s sheer insanity, and we all feel powerless to do anything but watch in horror.

Emotions rage at every turn, seeing pictures of the beautiful countryside obliterated, the bombing of a maternity hospital, slaughtered children and citizens, mass graves… it’s all so terrifying to see scenes reminiscent of the Holocaust and Nazi Germany being replayed in real time! It is hard to put into words how helpless, upsetting and grieved that we fellow Americans feel over these horrendous crimes. God help Ukraine, God help us all in this crumbling world!

Someday I will record a spoken word reading of this poem…but not now. I literally do not have the strength to do it without dissolving into tears.

xoxo Colleen

Mood: Heartbroken
Inspiration: “Primavera” by Ludovico Einaudi

Of all the musical pieces I have ever listened to, this one never fails
to touch me deeply and make me weep….

Between Black and White

Between Black and White

Between black and white, there lies a lot of gray.
Colors mingle, fading away in a torrent of tears.
I was stuck in the past, longing for yesterday…
Caught up in a tangled web of pain and fears.

Colors mingle, fading away in a torrent of tears,
Heart crushed beneath an avalanche of sorrow.
Caught up in a tangled web of pain and fears…
The hours slipped away with dread for tomorrow.

Heart crushed beneath an avalanche of sorrow,
Tripping over countless lies and a barrage of sins.
The hours slipped away with dread for tomorrow…
In games of a kid – rock paper scissors – nobody wins.

Tripping over countless lies and a barrage of sins,
I could no longer distinguish between truth or reality.
In games of a kid – rock paper scissors – nobody wins…
When merely breathing seems an exercise in futility.

I could no longer distinguish between truth or reality,
Drowning in a deep pool of denial every single night.
When merely breathing seems an exercise in futility…
I lifted my head, opened my eyes to the purest light.

Drowning in a deep pool of denial every single night,
Replaying the tape in countless loops inside my mind.
I lifted my head, opened my eyes to the purest light…
Finally, a place to rest and leave my troubles behind.

Replaying the tape in countless loops inside my mind,
Searching for answers, testing the limits of my sanity.
Finally, a place to rest and leave my troubles behind…
This was the beginning of my quest for serenity.

Searching for answers, testing the limits of my sanity,
Learning secrets of a dark world I didn’t want to know.
This was the beginning of my quest for serenity…
With the stark realization that I had to let you go.

Learning secrets of a dark world I didn’t want to know,
I slowly gained the strength to cast away the strife
With the stark realization that I had to let you go…
In time, you healed, bringing color back into my life.

I slowly gained the strength to cast away the strife;
I was stuck in the past, longing for yesterday.
In time, you healed, bringing color back into my life…
Between black and white, there lies a lot of gray.

This is a deca-pantoum poem dedicated to my son Vincent. Thank you to all my family and friends who knowingly (and unknowingly) supported our family with love and prayers during our journey…. I am eternally grateful.