serenity – Colleen Keller Breuning

Falter and Fall

Falter and Fall

Strange how I falter
when I rise with the robins
that dark sense of dread

I feel lost, forlorn
as if something is missing
like my lone gray sock

Strange how my heart beats
trapped moth against the porchlight
panic grips my throat

I take a deep breath
and lace up my running shoes
searching for calmness

Strange how I conquer
miles passing beneath my feet
confidence restored.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
August 26, 2023

Hello, all! Just a quick haiku series that I thought up as I was lying on the beach relaxing. We are in Virginia Beach for a long weekend getaway. So wonderful to sleep in, soak up the sun, and eat some delicious dinners. A very much needed vacation, for sure!

This poem is a snapshot of anxiety. It can sneak up on you as you wake up in the morning, or hit you randomly in the middle of the day. It has been one of my biggest struggles in life, and I can relate to anyone who has struggled with it. Those who do not simply do not understand what it is like. It can take over your life if you let it. One of the best ways for me to cope with it is to exercise. Running alone in nature is my favorite antidote, and I’m lucky to have a running trail around the lake in our neighborhood.

As for the missing sock, that really did happen! One of my favorite gray running socks suddenly went missing about 8 months ago. I chided Dan that it was probably rolled up in one of his tee shirts, which is where they’ve been found in the past. I am blessed to have a husband who willingly folds laundry, so I try not to complain about missing socks too much, haha! I purposely left the orphaned gray sock sit on my dresser for several months, and then gave up. I put it back in my sock drawer, always hoping that its twin would return. And holy cow, we found it several weeks ago. Where was it, you ask? It was stuffed down in the side of our living room loveseat!!!! I can only guess that hubby was folding laundry there watching tv and it fell down in the crack. Or maybe one of the cats confiscated it…. yeah, that’s it!

Have a great weekend, and always have hope that missing sock will return!

XOXO
Colleen

Mood: Serene
Inspiration: “On Your Shore” by Enya

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 8.15 – Run for the Glory
Hard Bonus: Incorporate a lyric from Enya (“Strange how I falter;” “Strange how my heart beats” from “On Your Shore”)
Easy Bonus: Include a missing sock

Oblivious

Oblivious

Red dusk is oblivious
to the catbird’s plaintive cries.
Twilight sighs and shivers
beneath the dappled skies.

Clouds morph on the horizon,
jeweled tones in refracting light.
Half moon rises slowly
beaming in the young night.

Venus makes an entrance
as the sun begins to set.
Pinpoint stars appearing
in fields of black velvet.

Throw another log on
and let the flames rise higher.
Stoke the glowing embers
of passion and desire.

We sip our wine in darkness,
feeling peaceful, slightly high.
Jazz notes floating in mid-air,
holding hands, just you and I.

Alone beneath the shooting stars,
with fireflies to light the way.
Out here we are oblivious
and where we’d rather stay.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
May 27, 2023

Happy Saturday! Well it is Writer’s Choice week, where we can let our muses run wild and write to our heart’s content. Sometimes this is actually harder, believe it or not. This poem was once again inspired by a line in the Outlander book I am reading. “The night shivered.” It stuck in my mind as I was reading on Friday, and I knew it was going to form the basis of my poem.

Last night was so beautiful that after my 6 mile run, we decided to have a spontaneous firepit up in our back yard. We packed up our favorite wine, some glasses, flashlights and the makings of s’mores. I brought along my iPad and Anker speaker, and we listened to some mellow songs and cool jazz that just make you melt into the Adirondack chairs. One of these songs was “Lighthouse” by Patrick Watson, which is so beautifully inspiring.

High on our west facing ridge, we get an incredibly beautiful view of the sunset, and then can watch as the planets, moon and stars make their appearance. It was just glorious, the colors were so jewel toned and beautiful, and the fire was a gorgeous dance of orange and gold flames.

It had been a relatively cool day so I had 2 layers on, and took my warm shawl along, as the temperature was dropping. Despite the coolness, fireflies were blinking and bats were swooping. I took videos that had some incredible birdsong, the catbirds seem to be the most vocal at night as they settle in. Their chatter always makes me smile. A pair of deer curiously watched us from the top of our property, and ventured closer as they became comfortable. I am always grateful for this time in nature.

I roasted marshmallows and made s’mores for Dan and myself. Have you noticed recently that they are making the giant marshmallows flat now? I can only presume this is on purpose, for making s’mores? Or maybe my bag just got flattened – but it seemed all the bags were the same at the grocery store!

Anway, it was such a relaxing and beautiful night that I didn’t want to end. If I were more adventurous, I would love to sleep under the stars. But I’m not a camper or even a “glamper,” and I would probably get freaked out by some rogue animal and go screaming into the house, haha.

So this poem is simply about a beautiful night spent by the fire with my love, where we basked in the beauty of nature and literally felt oblivious to the demands of the world beyond our backyard. Such a wonderful feeling we plan to revisit often this summer. I wish you all a peaceful, relaxing Memorial Day weekend.

xoxo Colleen

Mood: Romantic
Inspiration: “Lighthouse” by Patrick Watson

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 47.14 Topic: Writers Choice – Oblivious
Hard Bonus: WC – Include a line from an Outlander book (“The night shivered.” – I paraphrased it a bit haha)
Easy Bonus: WC – Incorporate the planet Venus

Sensuality of Spring

Sensuality of Spring

Step into nature and behold
the winter’s secrets left untold.
The turning of the season brings
the sensuality of spring.

Pink and chartreuse buds are sprouting,
doves are cooing, bluejays shouting.
Soon the butterfly spreads its wings,
the sensuality of spring.

The wind whips up and raindrops fall
instilling peace and sense of awe,
as choir of woodland creatures sing
the sensuality of spring.

Step into nature and behold
the sensuality of spring.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2023
April 15, 2023

Good morning! I wrote this this morning as a light rain fell outside. The temperature is warmer and spring is in full bloom. All around in my backyard, spring is alive. My beautiful hydrangea are sprouting beautiful chartreuse buds. These two hydrangea bushes are my best garden success, and I adore the huge softball sized flowers that sprout cream color and turn to a dusky pink in September. They are actually trees now – close to 20 feet tall and about to approach my upstairs bathroom window.

Hydrangeas have become my favorite flower. I think we got lucky and just happened to plant them in their happy place where they can thrive. I have failed at planting other hybrid blue and purple hydrangeas in other spots in the backyard, only to be burnt up by the blazing afternoon sun. This is the only northern spot where they can bask in the morning sun and shaded the rest of the day. And they have taken over the entire north side of the house, so there’s no room for more. If anyone has other suggestions on hydrangea care and placement, I’m all ears.

I am missing my Kwanzen Cherry trees and their gorgeous pink blossoms, both of which perished in the last few years. One was injured by a lawn mower mishap and died a slow death, the other was blown over in a windstorm two years ago. Dan has agreed we need to buy another one, so we will do that soon but won’t see the blossoms until next year.

Easter was so much fun – all of my siblings and Mom together at our house for a lovely gathering. I still haven’t posted pics yet, as I have been super busy at work with tax extensions. I will try to post this weekend. I did miss the grandkids dearly, though. I send them specially made Easter baskets each year, filled with non-perishable candy, treats, clothes and Easter trinkets. We FaceTimed this week as they opened up the baskets, and they were so excited. It brings me great joy to see them so happy!

Have a lovely weekend, friends and family. Enjoy the beautiful comforts of spring that you find in nature.

xoxo Colleen

Mood: Enchanted
Inspiration: “Life” by Ludovico Einaudi

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 41.14 Topic: Easter Basket
Hard Bonus: Include a quote about Easter or spring (“the sensuality of spring”)
Easy Bonus: Mention the color “chartreuse”

In the Mountains

In the Mountains

There is a calm before the storm
Beyond the place where black winds form.
Miles away from cacophony,
Where the soul finds serenity.

Breathe in the pristine country air,
Observe the beauty everywhere.
Blue skies stretch for infinity
Where the soul finds serenity.

Here in the mountains I shall stay
As the winter sun fades away.
Resting here for eternity,
Where the soul finds serenity.

There is a calm before the storm
Where the soul finds serenity.

Colleen Keller Breuning @ 2023
January 14, 2023

Today is my sweet Posie Mae’s third birthday! It is hard to believe she is already 3 years old. We were unable to travel to be with her this year, but we did FaceTime with her this morning. We got to see her open the presents we sent. She loved the pretty pink princess dress with accessories and the ballerina music box! She even modeled the pink dress for us, and was absolutely in heaven. I love her more than words can say!

I’ll be honest, I’m feeling melancholy and sad in every cell of my being this afternoon. I wish so badly to be with Posie on her special day. Even though FaceTiming is great, it does not even compare to being there and celebrating with her. There were several reasons we did not make the trip this year. First, my busiest work month is January. Hell hath no fury, compared to an exploding workload of client year end filings, W-2s and 1099s to issue by January 31! Second, the airfare that I researched was completely outrageous and we really can’t afford it right now. We had some major expenses in 2022, just like 2021. Third, I’m not retired and rich, nor will I ever be. LOL

This year we are planning to spend Christmas in Florida with the grandkids, so we probably will not be able to make another trip there for Posie’s birthday in less than 2 weeks next year either. That is life – we must make hard choices. I’m sad that I can’t be there for every single milestone for the grandkids, but in reality my kids’ grandparents certainly did not make it down to Florida to celebrate every birthday, holiday or milestone either. It’s just not physically or financially possible. I need to remind myself of that occasionally. But I’m human, and I admittedly have FOMO. I want to share every special moment with them, but we don’t live in Florida anymore and can’t really afford to retire. Wah! Okay, time to snap out of the pity party, Colleen lol!

Wishing you a wonderful weekend, and hoping that your year is off to a grand start.

xoxo
Colleen

Mood: Melancholy
Inspiration: “Enigmatic Encounter” by ATB/Enigma

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 28.14 Topic: Hell Hath No Fury
Hard Bonus: Use a Clive Cussler book title (Black Winds)
Easy Bonus: Mention something you might see under a microscope (cell)

Summer Solstice

Summer Solstice

The sun is settling down gently,
casting shadows upon western peaks.
Baby bunnies scurry towards the brush
as the lonely catbird speaks.

Clouds refract soft pastel hues,
cotton candy melting in the skies.
A spark of joy ignites my heart,
and I am dancing with the fireflies.

I chase the summer solstice,
down to the wooden bridge.
I leap through golden meadows
towards the mountain’s ridge.

The deer are grazing with their fawns
in the glades upon blueberry hill.
The scent of lilac perfumes the air,
as the balmy breeze grows still.

Beyond the bend, I catch my breath
to rest in dewy fields of green.
The strawberry moon rises to greet me,
its ambient glow pink and serene.

As I settle by the water’s edge,
the frogs begin their symphony.
Their music strikes a lonely chord,
and I wish that you were here with me.

I send a message to you on the zephyr wind,
beyond the stars and shimmering moonglade.
The secrets of nature are waiting for us,
with a multitude of promises to be made.

So make your way down to our secret pond
and you will find me waiting there,
with taste of honeysuckle on my tongue
and the scent of summer in my hair.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2022
June 20, 2022

I started this piece on my birthday, after observing nature on a walk at the end of the day. I jotted down a few stanzas and then forgot about it, in the busy-ness of life, work and travel. As I was recovering from bronchitis and pneumonia this week, I came across it reading through my poetry notebook and put the finishing touches on it. It’s a tribute to the beauty and delights of summer. I hope you enjoy, along with this music which complements it and was actually playing as I wrote the piece. (If you know me, I rarely write in silence, music always inspires….) xoxo
Love to all, Colleen

Mood: Summer
Inspiration: Sophie Hutchings “Sunlight Zone”

In the Wilderness

In the Wilderness

In the wilderness, the word itself is beautiful music
from summer cricket songs to moth’s wing flicks,
cool nights bedecked with planets and radiant stars
far and away from the cacophony of rumbling cars.

In the wilderness, the rolling river bends and flows,
trickling down to all the places that silence goes.
Rhythmic lapping, gentle beneath a splintered dock,
crashing, pounding breakers on the craggy rocks.

In the wilderness, the poison ivy and honeysuckle creep
where young rabbits romp and the black bears sleep.
The full moon rises, proud in its golden glorious glow,
waiting for insolent clouds to crown with gauzy halo.

In the wilderness, my heart is glad and fills with peace,
my head cradled by the grass, soft as lamb’s fleece.
From the dew-kissed wildflowers to the blue skies fair,
there is beauty, heartbreaking beauty, everywhere.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
Originally written May 27, 2015

This poem is posted for the Instagram group @hergrowthcollective. The topic for 11/18/2021 was “beauty.” Since I had just written a poem on the beauty of nature last week, I decided to look back into my archives for another poem written on beauty. This is a repost of a poem I wrote back in 2015 that incorporated my two favorite Edward Abbey quotes:

“Wilderness, the word itself is beautiful music.”
“There is beauty, heartbreaking beauty, everywhere.”

Of course, there is a recurrent theme here for me, the beauty of nature. If you know me, that’s no surprise. Indeed, but there is beauty everywhere IF we choose to take the time to experience it. I believe that beauty invokes more than just sight – rather, it invokes all of the senses. Therefore, experiencing the beauty of something can be felt on an emotional level if you will allow it. It is both external and internal, but you must open your heart and soul to feel it.

I see beauty in my grandchildren’s eyes, I hear beauty in the chords of a piano concerto, I taste beauty in a freshly cut orange, I smell beauty in the Blue Spruce pine needles, I feel beauty in the warm ocean breeze upon my skin. Mere memories of these beautiful things, or experiencing it in the now will transport you to a place of zen and calm the unrest in your mind. It can be a meditative and transcendent experience.

Take a few minutes at the beginning of each day to reflect upon the beauty in your life. Close your eyes, still your mind and focus on your breathing. Then think of the beauty you have experienced, breathe and be grateful.

Xoxo Colleen

Mood: Introspective
Inspiration: “Tomorrow’s Song” – Ólafur Arnalds
Ólafur Arnalds

Butterfly Piano

Butterfly Piano

Keys
caressed
by fingers
gently stroking
black and ivory
sweet music sets us free
crimson blood thrums in our veins
as intangible passions stir
on wings of enchanted butterfly
resonating in hollows of my heart
take me to this place of serenity
your wings cover mine, softly guide me
chills down my spine, the song begins
our spirits take flight at dusk
delicate pas de deux
as two souls entwine
eternally
let each note
light the
dark

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2021
September 14, 2021

Mood: Golden Butterflies by Ludovico Einaudi

The Autumn Storm

The Autumn Storm

Outside the rain clattered,
pounding on my windowpane
as the autumn winds rumbled,
thrashing like a hurricane.

Dread ran deep in the black night,
sharp lightning cut the skies.
Sparking bolts struck the ground,
impervious to my fervent cries.

Hours dragged on in turmoil
until the storm came undone.
Its last chords, a final sonata
in deference to the morning sun.

A prism shone through the clouds,
rich rainbow colors peeking through.
Leaves were scattered on the ground,
jewel tone reflections in the dew.

Crisp periwinkle skies beckoned
as tree limbs stretched, cold and bare.
Blue jays frolicked in the woods,
the scent of hope rising in the air.

Though storms of life may come and go,
I realize how simple it could be
to breathe deep and release my fears,
allowing serenity to wash over me.

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 36.13 Topic: The Final Sonata
Hard Bonus (2 points): Incorporate a quote by Laurie Colwin (“Outside the rain clattered,” “How simple it could be”)
Easy Bonus (1 Point): Include a prism in your blog

SECRET PHRASE GUESSES:

1.    Moonlight sonata
2.   Luna
3.   Blood moon
4.   Man on the moon
5.   Purple haze
6.   Pink moon
7.   Full Moon Madness
8.   Dancing in the Moonlight
9.   Moondance
10. Bad Moon Rising

Topic:  Lissa    Pic:  Christine

Between Black and White

Between Black and White

Between black and white, there lies a lot of gray.
Colors mingle, fading away in a torrent of tears.
I was stuck in the past, longing for yesterday…
Caught up in a tangled web of pain and fears.

Colors mingle, fading away in a torrent of tears,
Heart crushed beneath an avalanche of sorrow.
Caught up in a tangled web of pain and fears…
The hours slipped away with dread for tomorrow.

Heart crushed beneath an avalanche of sorrow,
Tripping over countless lies and a barrage of sins.
The hours slipped away with dread for tomorrow…
In games of a kid – rock paper scissors – nobody wins.

Tripping over countless lies and a barrage of sins,
I could no longer distinguish between truth or reality.
In games of a kid – rock paper scissors – nobody wins…
When merely breathing seems an exercise in futility.

I could no longer distinguish between truth or reality,
Drowning in a deep pool of denial every single night.
When merely breathing seems an exercise in futility…
I lifted my head, opened my eyes to the purest light.

Drowning in a deep pool of denial every single night,
Replaying the tape in countless loops inside my mind.
I lifted my head, opened my eyes to the purest light…
Finally, a place to rest and leave my troubles behind.

Replaying the tape in countless loops inside my mind,
Searching for answers, testing the limits of my sanity.
Finally, a place to rest and leave my troubles behind…
This was the beginning of my quest for serenity.

Searching for answers, testing the limits of my sanity,
Learning secrets of a dark world I didn’t want to know.
This was the beginning of my quest for serenity…
With the stark realization that I had to let you go.

Learning secrets of a dark world I didn’t want to know,
I slowly gained the strength to cast away the strife
With the stark realization that I had to let you go…
In time, you healed, bringing color back into my life.

I slowly gained the strength to cast away the strife;
I was stuck in the past, longing for yesterday.
In time, you healed, bringing color back into my life…
Between black and white, there lies a lot of gray.

This is a deca-pantoum poem dedicated to my son Vincent. Thank you to all my family and friends who knowingly (and unknowingly) supported our family with love and prayers during our journey…. I am eternally grateful.

Walk With Winter

Walk With Winter

Here in the wake of gentle morning hush,
shimmering sun rises in its scarlet blush,
whispering namaste in the bitter breeze
amidst the crow and bluejay’s fervent pleas.

Here in the woods, you are never alone;
nature comes alive in its welcoming home.
Squirrels bury nuts under the towering oak,
white-tails bolt as distant shots provoke.

Here the forest yields its stark winter scene,
all barren branches save for tiny evergreens.
These solitary pine trees, if they grow at all,
shall grow ever strong, ever free, ever tall.

Here is where I long to sleep, in pale moonlight
beneath snowy blanket on long December nights.
Walk with winter, let broken hearts become whole,
with peace and serenity to ease your weary soul.

Colleen Keller Breuning
December 18, 2014